Silver Tongue

derinthemadscientist:

factsinallcaps:

THE LEGENDARY STORY OF THE TROJAN HORSE DOES NOT INVOLVE THE GREEKS GIVING THE HORSE TO THE TROJANS AS A GIFT. THE GREEKS’ DECEPTION WAS ACTUALLY THAT THEY LEFT THE HORSE AS AN OFFERING TO THE GODDESS ATHENA

IN THE LEGEND, THEY BASICALLY SENT SOMEONE TO TROY TO SAY “THIS HORSE IS FOR ATHENA, NOT YOU, SO OUR RETREAT BACK TO GREECE IS SAFE. DON’T TRY TO TAKE IT. IT WON’T FIT THROUGH THE GATES OF YOUR CITY, SO THERE’S NO WAY YOU DICKS CAN STEAL IT AND PRETEND YOU GOT IT FOR ATHENA. NOT FOR TROJANS.”

AND THEN TROY WAS LIKE “YOU’RE NOT OUR DAD. WE WON THIS WAR AND WE’RE TAKING YOUR STUPID HORSE AS A TROPHY SO WE’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW BAD GREECE IS AT DESTROYING TROY.” 

AND A FEW TROJANS WERE LIKE “THIS IS A TRICK” AND TRIED TO EXPOSE IT AS A TRICK BUT THE REST OF THE TROJANS WOULD HAVE NONE OF IT BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS SWEPT UP IN THE THRILL OF VICTORY, AND ALSO BECAUSE THE GODS KEPT SENDING SNAKES TO STRANGLE ANYONE WHO SAID ANYTHING, BECAUSE THE GREEK GODS HAD NO WORD FOR “SUBTLETY”

THEN AT NIGHT ALL THE GREEKS JUMPED OUT OF THE HORSE LIKE “WE TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE THE HORSE, WHY ARE YOU SUCH PRIDEFUL DICKS” AND BURNED DOWN THE WHOLE CITY

This makes a lot more sense

the signs as keyboard smashes

elwurd:

aires: hgahga0sg0isfasd0

taurus: gHJKAHGFK;SADJFKDHAS,

gemini: hjkaldkjf2KKiiagd2f2hadii2fhjKK2a.

cancer: FUCKALKLKDNJJV

leo: :33< hewjhhwe;jk;ehjk;awhj;k33

virgo: Ghaksjdhfk;jsad Adsfhash Hfgjdashf;k

libra: SDKLFSDK FHS

scorpio: Hasd8hak ;ljdfhv8 jkla8ha; jk8ajkhs h8fdjak; hkj;8adf hjkl8hda kldfdffs.

sagittarius: D–> jkg;hasdhfjksdak;dassda;001gdaskjhfjkads

capricorn: GhAsDhFkJsDaFjSjK;.

aquarius: hadhfwwhj;ahwwj;c;nbhvvwwhhdaslhkj;sda

pisces: Fdsajf;shagk)(kj)(k;)(dashjf;——-Edaskkjf)(;sa.

pawshe:

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Breath of the Wild II trailer

obliviousaziraphale:

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Ineffable Husbands + Text Posts (x)

alearius:
“Detective Mimikyu
”

alearius:

Detective Mimikyu

angrimator:
“🌻🐝🌻
”

angrimator:

🌻🐝🌻

oppa-homeless-style:

chefpyro:

almost every NPC in Dark Souls: ugh this undead curse… it’s so awful… i wish i could die… every moment is agony

the Chosen Undead, Bearer of the Curse and Ashen One: lmao watch me 1v1 this dragon

every dark souls protag is just Courier Six with infinite deaths and no gun

pregnantseinfeld:

amanda-519:

marxism-lesbianism:

softwaring:

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Seeing a lot of landlords and their valiant defenders on this post so I’m here to say you’re all enemies of the working class

Why am I seeing so many people hating landlords on this site recently?

this is the funniest comment I’ve seen in weeks, thank you

purelyundecided:
“ alyrian:
“ I can’t believe that in the year of our lord 2019 nintendo managed to make us all thirsty for Ganondorf
”
Nintendo: heres this decaying vampire husk living in the catacombs
Tumblr fanartists: god nintendo why u gotta...

purelyundecided:

alyrian:

I can’t believe that in the year of our lord 2019 nintendo managed to make us all thirsty for Ganondorf

Nintendo: heres this decaying vampire husk living in the catacombs

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Tumblr fanartists: god nintendo why u gotta make us so horny all the time damn.