Silver Tongue

banishedquasiroyal:

i can’t play tboi in front of my dog bc she’ll sit next to me and watch and then try to hit the keyboard whenever there’s a boss. like she especially hates the haunt and monstro because they’re recognizable on the screen but jfc. why is she so smart

she just wants to play! you should start a youtube gaming channel for her

jabberwockypie:

jadelyn:

finnglas:

birchsoda:

wandererriha:

fayanora:

thatadult:

I don’t think welfare fraud is a problem period I genuinely don’t. I don’t care when it happens and it means nothing to me. I’m glad. As if the government doesn’t steal from you every day lmao… I don’t give a damn

It’s also literally not a problem because there isn’t enough welfare fraud happening to even be a problem to any reasonable human being. It’s practically nonexistent, in fact.

My first “real job” out of college was working for the welfare fraud and collection line.

My God.

If ever there was a job that made you despair for humanity.

I learned two things there: 

1. People are petty-ass bitches who can’t stand to see their “neighbor on welfare” doing “better” than they are.

2. 99.9999% of the time there was no actual fraud, just a GROSS lack of knowledge as to how the welfare system actually works on the part of both non-recipients.

Example: Had some guy report his neighbor for owning an “expensive antique car”. Said car was a 1978 Buick with no remaining paint, no hubcaps, and was at least fifth-hand. At the time, the year was 2002. I politely explained that a) that’s not a classic car and b) he should pity his neighbor the gas mileage and insurance costs. The caller said he had not thought of that and hung up.

My other favorite was someone calling to report that their “neighbor on welfare” who was a single mother with no income or support had her children in a “private school”. I asked what the name of the school was. Said private school is actually a charity-run orphanage and school for children who have no parents, or whose family situation is less than stable. I informed the caller of this and they hung up without a word.

Someone else called and felt that their “neighbor on welfare” should have to sell all their jewelry, antiques, family heirlooms, and collection of vintage sports memorabilia before they could be eligible to be “given free money” by the state.

The system is old, overtaxed, convoluted, and being forced to function in a way that was never intended. Like the workhouses of the 19th c, welfare was originally for out of work men. But the people who wound up using it were women, children, the disabled, and the elderly. This continues to this day.

If there’s fraud, it’s minimal to the point of barely existing. Ya’ll are just greedy, nosy, entitled assholes who can’t mind your own damn business. If you REALLY want to do something about “all these people on welfare” try, I don’t know, ACTUALLY HELPING THEM. Offer to watch their kids. Make them a casserole. Drive them to the store. Don’t make their lives harder than they already are. I guarantee, their lives are a LOT harder than yours.

Also it costs $0 to mind your own beeswax!

I remember I had a vocally Christian coworker once who complained about welfare, and I said, “Didn’t Jesus say feed and clothe the poor and hungry?” “Well yes, but that shouldn’t be the government.” “And here I thought you WANTED the government to be run on Christian values. Isn’t that what you’re always saying?”

He was quiet for a very long time after that.

Honestly, conservative Christians will always say they don’t want the government handling social support programs, because those should be managed through private charity efforts. Which, as noted, doesn’t align with their claims that this is a Christian country, Christian values should guide lawmaking, etc.

But there is an actual reason and logic underpinning it, and it’s simple. They want social support to be a private charity effort because that way, they can control who gets support, making sure it only goes to those who share their values, thus using it to coerce people into adopting their values in order to access needed support. If social support comes from the government, it’s available to everyone* and is useless as a tool to coerce conversion. Just look at how they scream bloody fucking murder every time a government-funded private religious charity is forced to provide services fairly to all who need it without regard for the particulars of the recipients’ lifestyles. They want the power to say only Good Christian Families get to access support, which will either kill off the rest of us with homelessness and starvation and whatnot, or force people in need to perform Good Christian Lifestyle in order to get help.

They might be willing to follow their god’s exhortations to care for those in need, but only when they can use it to score Soul Points by converting the heathen masses.

(*everyone being a bit of an overstatement in practice, given the hoops social services forces folks to jump through to access benefits, but that’s a separate conversation.)

It’s like the food banks that are run by churches.

“Okay, cool, good of them to be distributing food”, right?

Except SOME of them will say “Well if you come in to listen to a sermon, you get to go to the front of the line. You don’t HAVE TO listen to it, but if you don’t, then you have to wait outside for an hour in Michigan in January, and we’re telling you that we might run out of food”*. Because they’re ASSHOLES.

*Actual example I have experienced.

gallusrostromegalus:

glumshoe:

crankyteapot:

glumshoe:

The captain activated the viewscreen and drew in a sharp breath. “We’ve got company,” she said, voice dripping with sardonic enthusiasm.

“Company?” I asked, peering over her shoulder at the live footage of the tiniest goddamn spaceship I had ever seen.

“Emissaries,” she said. “From the clown homeworld.”

We watched with baited breath as hatch on the little spaceship opened and something began to emerge from inside with agonizing slowness. It was long, rounded, and black—at first I thought it was the domed head of some new xeno, but then I saw the laces.

“It’s a shoe!” I gasped, as the comedically oversized footwear toed the rocky surface of the moon with cartoonish trepidation, as though it were nervously testing the temperature of a swimming pool. “My god, if its foot alone is that big, how can—”

The captain shushed me and nodded at the viewscreen. “Just watch,” she said.

I watched. I could do nothing but gaps in stunned, horrified silence as not one, not two, not three or four or five, but forty clown emissaries emerged from that minuscule spaceship one by one and formed the least orderly ranks I had ever seen.

“This ought to be fun,” said the captain dryly.

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@glumshoe

help me

A small step for a clown but a Giant Footprint for all of Clown Kind.

ren-sauce:

captainmarvelstan:

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Captain America is a war criminal, Winter soldier is an assassin and Hawkeye murdered people in endgame.

Men™️ on Twitter: How can Captain Marvel, a woman, twist a man’s hand who verbally abused her. She should be put in jail.

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this feels appropriate

all they had to do was make a passing comment about homestuck because it works just like homestuck time travel where you create an offshoot where everything is fucked but the offshoots are necessary for the alpha to exist

all they had to do was make a passing comment about homestuck because it works just like homestuck time travel where you create an offshoot where everything is fucked but the offshoots are necessary for the alpha to exist

chefpyro:

agitatingskeleton:

chefpyro:

What if there was a pokemon dating app tho…

Do your date the trainers, or…

You just date other people and you can select your favourite pokemon or something. I will NOT indulge you furries this day

its a compilation of all the mystery dungeon questions and matches you with someone who has similar answers

Problamatic show: Totally Spies!

silver-tongues-blog:

chefpyro:

mirai-sora:

chrisisjustalie:

yoshthethird:

firebreathingeli:

Discuss.

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Originally posted by ethelberty

This.

tumblr mobile won’t load but I bet it’s the fucking mirror lasers

With all the fetishes in this show. How did you quess mirror lasers

The mirror lasers are worse

Nobody has a fetish for the mirror lasers so there is no excuse for that bullshit

gingerbbatch:

every night as i fumble to plug my phone into its charger i think of how bbc sherlock holmes would classify me as an alcoholic

jockbi:

jockbi:

i feel like cis people assume if you’re trans you’re either gay or straight and that’s why you barely ever see positivity posts for trans bi people so here’s your daily reminder that we’re here and we’re great! bi trans women? amazing. bi trans men? amazing. nonbinary bi people? you guessed it, amazing!

the amount of thanks i’ve gotten in the tags for this simple post just further proves my point… support bi trans people!!!