Shoutout to butches who are masc in the loser fail way. Let me hear it for the women who dress like Jesse Pinkman. Love for the dykes who could trade clothes with their 12yo little brothers and be wearing the exact same style. Respect to the all them butches who wanted to be masc but the only masculine figures you had in you life who didn’t suck major ass were the boys you hung out with in high school who have all broken their arm attempting a stupid stunt on a trampoline.
This is so important, stories like this need to be told. The cultural insistence we have that parenthood is some kind of magical bonding that happens every time without exception does real harm to both parents and children, as you can see from some of these stories:
My father recently told me he never wanted kids, but my mother wanted them. She thought he would love us when we were born.
and
I didn’t realize that a maternal instinct is not universal. You know how
you see parents in the delivery room and they are crying tears of joy? I
felt nothing.
[…] My boys are well cared for and I am always here for them, but it feels very unnatural and fake and unenjoyable. It
is a bit like a retail job you don’t like where you put on a fake
persona and slog through it the best you can. I don’t get to leave this
job, though.
and
I also thought I wouldn’t mind missing out on all the partying and holidays because I would have the ultimate gift, a child.
and
I always said I would never have children. I hate kids..I do. I am just not that type of nurturing person. I was always very careful to make sure protection was in use (condoms, birth control) but I am that .1% and apparently very fertile. I do not have that natural motherly instinct that all women seem to have, you know..that one that kicks in the moment they know they’re pregnant. I have to work really hard at it and it’s exhausting. I miss my solitude and being able to “check out” of reality from time to time.
and
Because kids aren’t the life completer we believe they are.
Are there people for whom having children completes their lives? No doubt. Are there parents for whom the downsides like sleeplessness and loss of personal time are outweighed by the love and joy they feel? Of course. Are there people who change their minds about wanting kids once they have them? Sure. But that’s not true for everyone. It doesn’t happen every time, it’s never guaranteed, and the consequences are grievous when people who don’t want children have them anyway trusting that they will love the child and be happy.
We need to dispel the starry-eyed myths around pregnancy, childbirth, and marriage and create more realistic expectations. Parenthood is too important a choice for people not to go into it with their eyes open.
“It doesn’t happen every time, it’s never guaranteed, and the consequences are grievous when people who don’t want children have them anyway trusting that they will love the child and be happy.”
There’s a book on this topic that was groundbreaking when it came out, called Regretting Motherhood: A Study by Dr. Orna Donath. The backlash was insane. This is a topic that simply wasn’t discussed, and as the book became more famous (was translated into multiple languages, received a lot of public attention), the responses also became more incendiary. I had the utter honor and pleasure of studying with Orna - she read us some of the death threats she received, in her calm and measured manner, using them to further show just how deeply society expects motherhood of women.
I haven’t read the book myself, but knowing Orna, and having read some of her other work, I wholeheartedly recommend it.
congratulations everyone. we did it. with the power of teamwork, 63,000 of us came together to keep this girl and her dog from being separated. it was an arduous week with many ups and downs, but we stuck through to the end. it just goes to show that the best way to bring this website together is by the one (or two) scene(s) that traumatized us all as children. collectively, we managed to once again make the same fucking joke. i am so proud of you all.
sex is fun but it isn’t sacred which is part of why we even fight for bodily autonomy and privacy in the bedroom. one night stands and quickies and casual sex are all morally neutral. to mythologize sex as the ultimate intimacy through which people eternally connect is ridiculous and serves only to empower the christofascist regime which uses sex and intimacy as simultaneous weapons of oppression and beneficiary incentives for everyone to stay in line with the status quo.
sex is fun and it feels good and there is nothing wrong with having sex. at the same time sex is nothing particularly special or great either. It’s just another thing humans are capable of. we give the concept of sex too much power tbqh.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
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