Spider-Man (Peter Parker) has to deal with the awkwardness of teaching the class of Avengers Academy students as a substitute teacher.
- Amazing Spider-Man v1 #661, 2011
Remember kids, spider-man is awesome. But peter parker is an idiot. Thats why i was so disappointed that the superior spider-man ended.
“Kids. Listen, you make good points, but let me put it this way. I’ve seen some shit. When one of my enemies found out who I was, he dropped my girlfriend off a bridge. By the way, lesson 3, once someone’s free-falling suddenly catching them makes for a loud snap if you can’t slow them down before stopping them.
That Avengers protection? Yeah, good luck with that when the Red Skull is in charge of the program. He was calling himself Dell Rusk. Can you believe that? The Red Skull got a high ranking position in the US government using an anagram alias. Also, you won’t remember this because the timeline was rewritten, but I’ve seen how good Avengers protection is when it comes to loved ones. Lesson four, steer clear of Mephisto, just in general.
Whole celebrity superhero thing, maybe reconsider that. Didn’t work out great for the New Warriors, even though like, that didn’t make any sense. I mean, Nitro was the dude to killed Captain Marvel. No, not her, the first one. He got cancer from saving people from nerve gas. Everyone cried. Especially me. Anyhow, why did everyone blame Speedball-et-all when a drugged up superhuman terrorist who killed one of our most beloved heroes (how do you kids not know who he is?) did the actual damage? Where was I…
The government! Fun fact. You know, I’ve talked to Reed Richards, and in most universes, Richard Nixon was impeached for something called the Watergate scandal, something about wiretapping and political adversaries, and not for donning the serpent crown and trying to usher in a nightmare apocalypse under the rule of Set, the demon-god of serpents.
And that leads us to lesson I’ve-lost-track, most of your heroes that are in their 30s and 40s have lived through massive trauma, and are aware of at least two person-replacing shape-shifting alien races (the better of the two doesn’t shove an acid-barbed tongue into your brain to consume your very being, by the way) so maybe nod along when the oldies go ranting about secret identities.
Oh yeah, and be skeptical of too-good-to-be-true outfits that come out of alien machines.”
When Homestuck is over I want a full tally of how many times Karkat said Fuck throughout the entire comic.
or even better, a tally of the total amount of times “Fuck” has been used in all of homestuck, then find out what percentage of the total mentions of Fuck in homestuck is just Karkat.
Plz
I mean Dave actually curses more times than Karkat in total buT YEAH LETS TALLY IT ALL UP
so on the website readmspathere’s a full transcript of every word ever feature on homestuck and
2547
the word fuck or variations of it is featured 2547 times
if anyone’s willing to go through all of this they are welcome to do so
thats it you know what
i am currently counting every time someone says fuck and im gonna make statistics
wish me luck and courage
i just spent the last fucking 3 hours manually counting every single fuck there is in homestuck
As if I’d ever be afraid of you. Armies quaked before me, and you? You’re just reptiles and birds. I’ve conquered your cities well before I was defeated by ponies.
[PLEASE KEEP ANONYMOUS BC I DON’T WANT TO BE FIRED]
I’m a bra fitter in the UK. Won’t name the store, but it’s one that’s internationally popular so occasionally we get people from abroad coming in to bulk-buy English bras because they fit better and are cheaper.
A few months ago a German woman, who didn’t speak any English, came in for a fitting with her two daughters to translate for her. What she didn’t know was that I speak near-fluent German because I used to work in Bochum as a primary school teacher.
I fitted her for an hour (she wanted a LOT) and she slagged me off the whole time - “she doesn’t know what she’s doing / she’s so young– have they given me an intern? I want a professional / I won’t take fashion advice from a girl that heavy / she’s not using european sizing, is she stupid” - and her daughters translated VERY favourably, both of them clearly quite uncomfortable with the situation.
I put on a brave face for the whole thing, pretending not to notice, and then as I was putting in her customer info (we keep a record of all our customers) one of the daughters complimented me for pronouncing their surname correctly.
I said thanks, and casually dropped into conversation - in perfect German - that I used to live in Germany and spoke the language.
Watching all the colour drain from that woman’s face as she realised what just happened, and seeing her two daughters quietly lose their collective shit behind her, was pretty glorious. Almost made it worth it.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
