banishedquasiroyal:

my bro and i were talking today about tolkein basically being thinly veiled manly man friendship Cool Dude MAN erotica and anyway here’s some solid points of why lord of the rings is gay

-hobbits are a race solely composed of otters. dwarves are bears. elves are twinks. you want monster dudes? guess what we have those too

-feet size = dick size = hobbits are fucking tripods

-sam & frodo

-literally every book is gratuitous examples of the world around them in order to avoid tolkein writing a thirsty essay about aragorn’s chest hair

-all female ents live in gardens bc they couldn’t deal with the sheer Manly Masculinity Of Male Trees, Who Are Dudes

-swords

-creepy old dude who preys on twinks (gollum)

anyway. in conclusion tolkein probably would be the guy today who says that he’s straight even tho he reblogs greco roman naked wrestling and says that He Just Appreciated The Sweaty Dripping Bodies

moralitycalls:

Someday, someday. 

no-w0rriess:

pissedoffpineapple:

actualjackzimmermann:

This tiny octopus, whose body measured about five centimeters across, was spotted swimming along at a depth of 825 meters as we explored Whiting Seamount, off Puerto Rico.

its little floPPY EARS

lil buddy is on a BIG adventure

howtobangyourmonster:

writing-prompt-s:

Your mom admits to you that you have some… supernatural blood running through your veins. But she doesn’t remember what kind, cause she was kinda a hoe. 

The Mama Mia! reboot I’d love to see…

Alchemy’s number one taboo is human transmutation. its number two taboo is turning a gallon of water into a gallon of rootbeer

jameshoppy:

silver-tongues-blog:

the-regeneratin-degenerate:

writing-prompt-s:

You’re an immortal. Your secret? Flirting with death and running away as fast as you can once they’re distracted.

Reversal: You flirt with death and actually want to die. But death runs away every time.

Death gets flustered and is just trying to figure out how to properly reciprocate the feeling

This…is deadpool??

Nah, deadpool and death hit it off quite well. In fact, thats why thanoss wants to kill everyone in the universe. As a gesture of his love to death.

johannamation:

My brother-in-law thought tieflings were actual, ritual-summoned demons, and this funny headcanon of his character ensued. 

aimmyarrowshigh:

chrishoulihan:

Omg yall, it’s April, which means that one month from today

#do u ever see shit like this and realize#that in the real world#this has literally no meaning#but seven thousand people on this website saw it#understood it#and then shared it with others#sometimes it just hits me (via literallyfuckeveryone)

kaleighbytheway:

tinysaurus-rex:

dezzoi:

Photo © Jeff Kahn

The Regret

This is super hilarious to me. Because generally speaking, owls are way less intelligent than other raptors. So this moment is kinda like a grown adult suddenly getting slammed into place by an overgrown five year old.