yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: i am in my first ever DnD campaign. Nothong os serious. Our dm is pretty much making it up as we go. Squad consists pf a bird person, cat person, and me, a human-sized halfling who really loves sex. I don’t remember exactly how, but i was unconscious.

Cat: i run over to (halfling) and try to heal them

Me: I embrace death

Cat: Fucking why???

Dm: fine, ok, ill allow it. You are now dead. Congradulations.

Me: I roll to seduce Satan.

Dm: God dammit. Fine, but you are going to have to roll pretty high for it to-

Me: *Nat 20*

Dm: God fucking dammit. Ok. You fuck satan. He revives you, and you recieve satan’s blessing, adding ½ d8 damage to any attack

Me: Can i stay a bit longer?

Dm:N o

Tl,Dr: fucked satan and got sick fire powers

yourplayersaidwhat:

The party was in an atheneum looking up whatever they needed while the wizards copied spells

Kobold ranger: “Do you have any books on making money fast?”

Wood elf wizard: “yeah, like art of the deal?”

NPC librarian cleric: “oh no, we dont carry that book. We gathered all copies and burned them. There was great evil radiating from that book”

tilthat:

TIL that, due to the Doppler effect, a musical piece being emitted from a source traveling twice the speed of sound would be heard in correct time and tune, but backwards.

via reddit.com

not-a-comedian:

do u support this boy

outofcontextdnd:

- a very tired player

atiredtrans:

daisto:

atiredtrans:

atiredtrans:

hot take: hrt, gender therapy and trans surgeries should be free

if cis people don’t have to pay to have a body that doesn’t make them dysphoric, neither should trans people

So by that logic does that mean that I should get anti-depressants and all the other pills for my mental issues for free because the people who don’t suffer from them don’t have to pay to have them?

yes

adurot:

Lightsabers beams are made of Plasma you pleb!

yeah. they are the result of energy shot through a crystal and contained in a small magnetic field.

grandtheftchocobo:

That post about women fetishizing gay relationships is super personal for me cause like
When i expressed interest in a boy in highschool the chuckle fucks from my anime club wrote fanfics/ drew lewds of me and the boy in question and like
I was super fucked up about it when I heard. Like I literally wanted to tear my hair out and scream. It was gross and I stopped going to anime club as often, and ultimately vowed id never be so disgustingly objectifying like these assholes I thought were my friends
Don’t fetishize boys loving boys or I’ll come after you

potoobrigham:

Maintenance. Part 1.

Index.