Silver Tongue

cyanicas:

swansongofuyulala:

lubricates:

Me: I’m a bad bitch! I don’t take shit from anyone! I’m not nice!

Also me: well I can’t just leave this cart in the middle of the parking lot. I have to take it to the cart return. I’m not an animal. Those employees work hard.

A real bad bitch respects minimum wage workers

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chipsprites:

Me: *escaping the louvre, having just stolen the mona lisa*

The police: Stop right there!

Me: credit to the original artist. :)

The police: Oh, never mind, you’re free to go.

occasionallyomniscient:

rubysevens:

Danny Devito and Jeff Goldblum both give off chaotic energies, but in opposite directions. One is the yin to the other’s yang. However, both are everyone’s uncle

Danny is ur dad’s brother and Jeff is ur mom’s

choiceoxide:

HOW YOUR EVIL PLAN GO, THE KINGPIN? PRETTY GOOD IT DOESN’T SEEM.

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Reblog if you love opossums

kreuzdrache:

opossummypossum:

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and add your favorite opossum photo!

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CREDIT MISSOURI DEPARTMENT OF CONSERVATION

web-s:

me vs my problems

yeah-yeah-beebiss-1:
“ paarlhatestheirish:
“This is why the cafe maids ignore you, pal
”
has
has this man ever played wolfenstein
like, any of them
”

yeah-yeah-beebiss-1:

paarlhatestheirish:

This is why the cafe maids ignore you, pal

has

has this man ever played wolfenstein

like, any of them