Silver Tongue

cyanicas:

swansongofuyulala:
lubricates:
Me: I’m a bad bitch! I don’t take shit from anyone! I’m not nice!
Also me: well I can’t just leave this cart in the middle of the parking lot. I have to take it to the cart return. I’m not an animal. Those employees work hard.
A real bad bitch respects minimum wage workers

joulejay:

chipsprites:

Me: *escaping the louvre, having just stolen the mona lisa*
The police: Stop right there!
Me: credit to the original artist. :)
The police: Oh, never mind, you’re free to go.

occasionallyomniscient:

rubysevens:
Danny Devito and Jeff Goldblum both give off chaotic energies, but in opposite directions. One is the yin to the other’s yang. However, both are everyone’s uncle
Danny is ur dad’s brother and Jeff is ur mom’s