toastyhat:

toastyhat:

emmajomo:

toastyhat:

every time I listen to paparazzi by lady gaga and she hits the chorus all I can hear is “papa paparazzi”

like

a paparazzi of overly-enthusiastic dads snapping pictures of their children’s everyday lives?

I DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF THIS

oldie but a goodie~

kirbychan234:

chefpyro:

@chantillyxlacey

xeniawarriorprincesa:

batmansleftnipple:

skylarghost:

cloud-bending:

Water, Carbon, Ammonia, Lime, Phosphorous, Salt, Saltpeter, Sulfur, Fluorine, Iron, Silicon, and trace amounts of 15 other elements.

I can do it.

I’m going to make myself a girlfriend using alchemy. 

YOU CAN’T TRANSMUTE A HUMAN WITH AN ORANGE AND A PACKET OF CHIK-FIL-A RANCH DRESSING

well with that attitude you cant

This is how you summon a Floridian 

idiot, this isnt summoning its alchemy. This is how you do floridian transmutation.

chasekip:

Nebby is literally a baby

get in the fucking bag nebby

crazy-pages:

hornygold:

spoiledchestnut:

Alien: You shouldn’t eat that.

Human: What?

Alien: That thing. Don’t you know it’s extremely acidic? Enough to cause eventual deterioration of your flesh?

Human: ….it’s a fucking pineapple.

Alien: But that thing contains bromelain, it’ll destroy your body’s proteins!

Human: Not if I digest the bromelain first.

Alien: Humans are insane!

“Not if I digest it first” is an official human motto, in close competition with “not if I pet it first”.

ficcyshit:

s t o p

one day in minneapolis, Aristotle and a Pirate went to Chipotle after their jazz pilates session for some guacamole. They then met with his daughter at her ballet class and went to an arcade to play whack-a-mole and pineapples but they didnt have their wallet. the air was filled with awkward laughter

tartsblog:

I’m playing rescue team and I am SALTY

unfolded73:

galentines:

fdkshjvelrskjfhgerlkjfhqelajfhqd

Also

theotherguysride:

random2908:

Saw this shared on FB. It covers counter-arguments for a lot of the most common pro-gun points you’ll see people raise. Long read, but very helpful.

This is amazing. Thank you dude for doing all this work.