alluruh:

google search how do i exude lesbian vibes so girls will hit on me

wear flannel

 - john plays more

gooberjam:

people kept asking for more up-pitched markiplier for john’s voice. there’s another one of those sudden loud noises, but there’s only one in this audio around the beginning. anyways i hope you’re happy now nerds

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carrion-carousel:

carrion-carousel:

carrion-carousel:

Ah, the two genders.

Straight Man

Straight Woman

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*hacker voice* i’m in

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I EXPECTED NO LESS, godspeed Capitalists 

priceofliberty:

I ALWAYS wear a hoody and an oversized coat to the theater to smuggle my snacks. No way in hell would I ever pay almost $20 for a single large drink / large popcorn combo.

Theaters need to work with studies to negotiate a larger cut at the box office. No one is going to buy overpriced snacks, period.

10knotes:

My favorite Gordon Ramsay moment is when his food was too slow so he took a jog and then fell asleep

kaijuno:

The Computer Room is such a weird concept nowadays but growing up in the 90s/00s we really had a whole ass room dedicated to our computer. Anthropologists 1000 years from now are gonna think we worshiped computers so much we had shrine rooms for them

ours was at the top of the stairs

adhighdefinition:

me, an adult with adhd: *googles adhd resources*

97% of the search results: how to deal with your challenging adhd child! the disorder that only affects children! resources for teachers and parents! how to cure adhd and more!

with-love-niamh:

when I was 5 or 6 we had a father-daughter day at my school where you eat lunch together and play games and shit, but my dad didn’t wanna come so I went on my own. but my mum called my uncle real last minute and he immediately got off work and drove straight over to eat lunch w me so I wasn’t alone, and he even picked flowers from his garden to give to me and that’s when I realised that anyone can be a father but not everybody can be a dad

puppymother:

in grade 11 i was on the phone w this boy i wanted and i owed him a favour or something so i was like “it can be anything you want” and he was like “anything?” and im like ya thats what i fuckin said and he goes “can you explain to me how a fridge works? like how does it stay cold”