Silver Tongue

silverhawk:

me when i see a hilariously bad video that i want to send to my friend instantly, knowing that its bad enough to make them want to hire a deep web hitman to kill me

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youdonthavetogotocollege:

youdonthavetogotocollege:

My lease says nothing about wild hogs

My landlords silence on wild hogs is deafening. Incidentally, so is the sound of swine thundering through a three storey apartment

lonleyghostposts:

queenqueso:

triplehamburgerjack:

ayyyflueg:

zooxanthele:

tailsandco:

applejackcat:

curiooftheheart:

queen-of-dirt:

moth-mobile:

pyronoid-d:

pyronoid-d:

pyronoid-d:

pyronoid-d:

/r/choosingbeggars is the only good Subreddit I’ve decided

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This is one of the best ones I’ve found from there

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Damn you’re right

This is so cursed I swear I lost five years of life

It’s missing the best one. NEXT!

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i saw this in a bp group and cackled too much not to keep it

I completely lost it at “then don’t buy an accordion!!”

These make me so angry

NEXT!

OK BUT THE VIDEO COMPILATIONS

Oh i know the dude who makes those videos, and he’s a riot. You all should watch his videos. I swear i break down in tears everytime i do.

wumblr:

queenwhiskey:

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Chain chomp evolution is weird because they barely changed anything but now their much cuter and way less scary.

chain chomps lost their vestigial forward facing eyes after generations of forced domestication led them away from their predatory nature

their chompers are bigger too but thicker as to eat a vegetarian diet.

ukulelekatie:

oh hi thanks for checking in I’m still a piece of garbage

spyro2018:

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scream

So today this kid yelled Nani the fuck?!? in the middle of a test and I felt compelled to share this to the world.

fluttbydream:

ayellowbirds:

myathesleepyoctopus:

myathesleepyoctopus:

myathesleepyoctopus:

official-lyzzystardust:

ralsalot:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

teachers, share the weird crap your kids have done!

I’m not a teacher (yet) but I do work with students and one of them had the nerve to look me dead in the eye and ask me “why would it be a bad idea for me to eat this entire marker?” They’re 11

An 4th grader asked for a high five by saying, “A little slappy to make daddy happy?”

I did not give him a high five.

A student during break had her head in her arms and was shaking a bit, so i asked the kid next to her whether she was laughing or crying and this 8 year old stared me in the eye deadpan and said “im crying on the inside”

Wait i take that back, I cant believe i forgot about the time i brought in a small stuffed octopus as a class mascot because why tf not. It was a class of high schoolers and i didnt imagine theyd actually care much, but one student snuck in a snack and gave it to the octopus as a tribute. Which led to other students doing the same thing, until every day there was a pile of of offerings to Fweej the Overseer, mostly consisting of things like string cheeses and small bags of chips, but sometimes there wouldd be a couple bucks in quarters, one kid brought in some giant pocky i think, and at one point there was a cold stone gift card. This stuffed octopus gained a cult following.


Later i brought in another stuffed octopus that looked exactly the same but bigger and told the class that Fweej the Overseer accepted their offerings and became stronger. These highschoolers lost their goddamn minds.

So Ive been going through the notes of this post and it seems Fweej the Overseer is pretty popular with tumblr as well. So I dug through facebook and found photos for yall. Special thanks to @sakoyo, who was my TA and made the facebook posts, thus keeping the record and immortalizing his legacy.

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Fweej lives on 🙌🐙🙌

you started a cult to a tentacled entity with a name not matching the orthography of any human language. Congrats on becoming the villain of a pulp fantasy story.

The legend must continue

yourplayersaidwhat:

*our DM* “Congratulations, you summoned a god to fight a pissed off campfire and the the god lost”

omgitsrin:

hauntedbeef:

suppermariobroth:

In Super Mario Odyssey, whenever Mario does a single jump, he always raises the arm that is further away from the camera (top). This is likely due to Nintendo-internal guidelines that state that Mario is not to be depicted with his arm covering his face while jumping. Compare a selection of official artwork where Mario raises the arm that is further away from the viewer (bottom).
Main Blog
| Twitter | Patreon | Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, special thanks to twitter.com user “HEYimHeroic

Mario cannot canonically dab

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Originally posted by kohakuchan

terriblelifechoices:

dankmemeuniversity:

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I have watched an inadvisable amount of John Mulaney over the last week, so I read this in his voice and laughed hysterically.