The royal family employs no bodyguards. A would-be assassin discovers why.
“Please?” the crown prince said hopefully.
The assassin hesitated. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this.”
“Come on, you’re doing great. Just one stab, it’ll be easy-peasy.” The prince spread his arms wide, leaving his throat and chest vulnerable.
“Look, I’m going to level with you,” the assassin said. “I took this contract on the assumption that you were a bad dude. Usually when a country goes bankrupt this fast, it’s because whoever’s in charge is raiding the treasury. But once I infiltrated the guard, I actually had to spend time around you, and you’re just.” The assassin threw her hands up in disgust. “You’re a really nice person! There’s no getting around it! So I’m not super on board with murdering you now. Nothing personal.”
“But if you don’t, my sisters won’t get the life insurance payout, and the country will be in debt for the next century!”
“I’m pretty sure arranging for your own assassination is insurance fraud.”
“Your whole job is to commit murder,” the prince said, “and now you’re worried about a little insurance fraud?”
The assassin pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, let’s back up and think about this rationally. Have you considered faking your own death?”
This was not what I was expecting, and it is glorious.
“I’m pretty sure arranging for your own assassination is insurance fraud” is the best sentence I have ever read in my life
I love them.
Still my favorite scene in the movie
#this entire scene is incredible#ernesto’s so shocked/offended and struggling to keep up#héctor’s so touched he completely loses his train of thought#imelda juggling her attention between these dumbasses#honestly a marvel of voice acting and character animation
These are amazing tags.
Anonymous
Acting like the crows won’t try to cheat the system.
Acting like the crows won’t snatch cigarettes outta people’s mouths.
Acting like murders won’t fight viciously for terf.
You fool
For you think you can place a yoke on the neck of the raven,
And a harness on the back of the crow
But you know not of that with which you tamper
Your hands grope blindly in the dark
All your plans will be foiled
Though you lay out seven schemes, eight will come to ruin
honestly i would put more out just to watch crows snatch cigs out of people’s mouths, maybe then I wouldn’t have to worry about chocking for breath when I accidentally walk near someone smoking cuz my lungs decided that collapsing on themselves is a great response to cig smoke
