hmm…
this is some of the eloquently and immediately compelling homestuck meta i’ve ever seen lmao. A+++ well done
You ever think about how they made the minions immortal so that they wouldn’t have to explain how they reproduce
?? they made the minions immortal???
Yeah it’s like the same 200 minions forever
They also trapped them in the Arctic for a long time so they wouldn’t have to show them working for hitler because canonically they’re evil and serve the most evil master around and they’re clearly ok with serving dictators because they were depicted helping Napoleon so the solution to keep hitler out of the story was just to trap the yellow blobs on an iceberg.
So these things have been alive since the dinosaurs and are basically minor spirits or gods that exist to serve the side of evil and during that whole time they remained grossly incompetent.
Does the universe in despicable me want evil to fail or win? Or are these stupid yellow sexless idiots meant to keep a balance of some kind? Because they do not seem to have a niche in any ecosystem that I know of so their origin must be divine somehow.
since the minions are technically the last of their kind (since they seem to not be able to reproduce) does this mean that they are a protected species?
See, I don’t think that they’re a species. I think that they’re something else. Because everything else in that universe seems to follow ordinary rules of evolution but the same however many hundred minions keep changing their appearance and not dying. I think that the minions were intelligently designed.
Roman, my guy, are you really saying that minions are evidence of a god in despicable me lore?
Not god per se but… something.
Evil vs good. Evil made minions, good made them stupid yellow blobs
So are you positing that maybe they came to be because of some primordial yin/yang type battle between energies in the ocean or something?
But they have to reproduce somehow, there are way more minions in the Despicable Me movies than the Minions movie
there’s a blueprint hanging on a wall in the first movie that shows Gru developed a way to create minions out of corn kernels
please i don’t want to learn these things
No one wants to talk about the fact that they worked with Napoleon means the minions canonically participated in the trans Atlantic slave trade
Finally a new observation that doesn’t have to do with corn
I keep telling myself to stop making posts about FDA activities…but there are so many products hurting people
fuck it
- ice cream listeria outbreak. again. did you know that illness due to listeria has a 20-30% mortality rate?
- family dollar recalling a bunch of drugs and supplements because they stored them wrong
- lucky charms and cheerios continue to make children and adults sick, the cause is still under investigation, and no recall has been issued. terrifying. that means it is almost definitely not one of the common causes like salmonella…
- daily harvest said tara flour made customers sick. FDA is mad they announced that because the exact cause has still not been found. daily harvest products have given people liver damage so bad they needed to have their gallbladders removed. while the current FDA investigation only involves the leek + lentil crumbles, there are many reports of other daily harvest foods like the flatbreads also harming people. if you have been affected by daily harvest’s bullshit, there is now a subreddit for it.
- revive superfoods also pulling products with tara flour, for also giving people severe liver damage
- several honey products are being recalled for having undisclosed, get this…VIAGRA in them. and cialis. sildenafil and tadalafil.
- CVS is recalling lemon flavored magnesium-based laxatives due to contamination with gluconacetobacter liquefaciens, which can cause life-threatening infections in immunodeficient people.















