the-hardcorecasual:

I don’t know how to casually play video games. It’s either I’m not interested or I play for 16 hrs straight and forget to eat.

tabloo:

spacefaeries:

patchwork-indigo:

Neopets is a great way to teach kids how to earn and manage money.

that will be 39.4 million dollars, please.

just like art school

bobodenkirksfeet:

our local, independent grocery store made a grave mistake

twilightisgaynow:

sangotori:

twilightisgaynow:

new high school classmate: so what’s your name

renesmee: renesmee

new classmate: that’s… interesting

renesmee: my mom was on crack when she named me

bella, sitting literally two seats away: 

I’m so concerned that this post implies Bella and Edward will attend high school again with their own daughter

youre goddamn right thats what im implying

dragonslaying:

“minecraft is so theraputic” i say after screaming out loud when a skeleton shot at me

hardstoplucas1:

When that one family member that you don’t know interrogates your life

nattousan:

hardstoplucas1:

“If I didn’t see you then you didn’t do it”

this guy is excelling in a completely unique genre of his own creation that consists of extremely relatable humor steeped in twilight zone horror and i am here for it

dykelburnham:

He’s willing to stop pretending he doesn’t have emotions just long enough to call Bones ugly

dingdongyouarewrong:

chuck tingle, two time hugo award nominee and author of such erotica classics as ‘space raptor butt invasion’, ‘i’m gay for my living billionaire jet plane’, ‘bigfoot pirates haunt my balls’, and ‘there’s a bitcoin in my butt and he’s handsome’ just published a short story about the importance of consent and how it’s okay to have a loving relationship without sex if you want to??? 

that’s lovely on its own but it’s also called ‘not pounded in the butt by anything and that’s okay’, which is my favourite book title ever

eyesprawl:

griffin mcelroy voice: welcome to my fun comedy show for jokes :) in this episode, listen as a man begs one of his closest friends to kill him so he doesn’t forget his missing wife’s face