Silver Tongue
bassiter:
“please laugh at my very funney joke
”

bassiter:

please laugh at my very funney joke

adurot:

Customer buying a mystery blind bag toy: I think it’s Predator.

Me, super experienced at feeling the Bags and knowing what’s inside: Nope, it’s Mila Jovovich. I’d grab a different one.

Customer, opening it anyway: Goddamnit! Do you take returns?

Me: Not once you open it.

lots-of-regret:

image
image

me, banging on the front door to Area 51: I know y’all have a St. Gasper del Bufalo in there! Don’t make me call the Pope

careens:

careens:

he was a tater tot, she said see ya later thot

image

she ran a hater blog, he said he was pepe frog

protego-et-servio:

The point of voting blue in 2018 isn’t to make the US perfect. We cannot accomplish that in one fell swoop. There’s gerrymandering, voter apathy, voter suppression, and generations of older party-line fucks we have to deal with.

Voting blue in 2018 is to make it less immediately threatening for PoC, LGBT+ people, the disabled, and any other marginalized demographic. It’s a stopgap against Republicans who are aligned with Nazis, white supremacists, and sexual abusers.

Correcting politics in the United States is going to take decades of new voters staying on top of politics and not falling prey to apathy, like our predecessors. 

People telling you not to waste a vote on 3rd Party this midterm aren’t saying “never vote 3rd party.” Republicans have united behind one utterly heinous front. We need to unite behind Democrats, for the time being.

teamgalactica:

alparlaboratories:

teamgalactica:

alparlaboratories:

teamgalactica:

valquita:

teamgalactica:

god nerfed me by making me allergic to garlic and sunlight

so, a vampire?

i can confirm that i am not a vampire as i have blood

Is it your blood?

it is blood, yes

Is it blood that has always belonged to you, from the moment of your spawning?

it is blood, it is in my possession, therefore it is my blood