bluandorange:

writerlymagic:

writing-prompt-s:

The zombie outbreak started 2 years ago now you find yourself cornered by a decaying zombie when you do the unthinkable and bite it first when it falls to the floor and grows its skin back and sits up and asks what is going on

This may be the best subversive idea for zombie apocalypse stories i think I’ve ever seen.

“How the fuck did you know that would work?”

“I didn’t, dude, I just fucking panicked.” 

rosexxxknight:

wickedsilly:

ambris:

A reminder to new artists starting out–if you get people like this in your message box, rest assured that you’re doing something right.

Haters are a clear sign of your success. 

Also had this angry foot fetish guy message me. I’d like you all to enjoy our conversation as much as I did. He was referring to this picture: 

So being the nice person that I am, why not fix it for him right?

At this point I knew he just wanted the feet so might as well stop messing with him and give in to his wishes. 

He didn’t appreciate my efforts so maybe a nice sexy gif would suffice? 

Needless to say, he didn’t appreciate that either. 

I had one more chance to please this guy. I was trying my hardest. Truly I was.

…

Well now that’s just rude. I am NO troll sir.

But real talk, this dude is desperate for attention so might as well give him it.

Awesome gif were made by the amazing @omegasarting (go follow him, he draws pones.)

This is HILARIOUS to read omg

whitepeopletwitter:

Biggest scam ever

whitepeopletwitter:

Somebody finally said it.

flurryarts:

I’m calling out the entire fandom including myself

dont call me out like this

probablybadrpgideas:

The main conflict in your setting is the conflict between users of dark magic and users of light magic.

As things go on, it becomes clear that dark mages cast spells with the lights off, and light mages cast them with the lights on.

There is no other difference.

scope-dogg:

30-minute-memes:

Make the EU flag a meme so it’s banned in the EU

ryukodragon:

thebibliosphere:

dranikitten:

cannibalcoalition:

fattyatomicmutant:

cannibalcoalition:

sans–seraph:

cannibalcoalition:

traegorn:

cannibalcoalition:

“Oh I love roses! I try growing them myself, but they never get very far.”

“Would you like to know the secret to healthy rose bushes,” I asked, knowing that she would not like the answer. 

“Do tell!”

Grin. “Blood.”

The customer paused, waiting for me to say that I was kidding. But I wasn’t so it never came. She became nervous. 

And before I could explain that blood meal is a common soil fixer and fertilizer, she put her hands up, spun around and said-

“Bye.”

You want to know the secrets to a beautiful garden? You better be prepared for some weird shit. 

Well someone felt like being the ominous witch in the small, mysterious shop today.

.

…also, tomatoes like blood too.

My interest in plants extends beyond ‘oh look a pretty flower’ and straight into ‘plants are fucking metal.’ 

Evidently, you’re supposed to plant garlic in the same places as your roses because the garlic will repel a rose-specific aphid.

So what I’m saying is that between the romantic symbolism of the rose, the bloodmeal in the soil, and the fresh garlic all over the place-

You could really set yourself up for an encounter with some VERY pissed vampires. 

Roses really love banana skins, too. Just… stick one in there before you plant a rose bush or spronkle around one that’s already in  the ground. They’ll adore you. 

Mmm… blood banana. 

I made tiny ass Home Depot Petunias blossom like magic that they’re nearly overtaking the trellises.

How did I accomplish this?

Once a week I bury a small amount of leftover meat in the soil.

My morning glories loved the crap out of the charred chicken bones I gave them. They’re already an enthusiastic plant, but the blooms I had this year were extraordinary. 

@thebibliosphere Well, if you ever get your allergies under some semblance of more control and want to get on Demon Rose’s good side, I guess

They also like fish too.

Originally posted by nsfwmalkie