The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS
1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.
2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.
3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as fuck” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.
4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again
5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out
6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead
7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard
8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.
9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals
10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks
11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped
12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home
13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.
14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near
15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again
16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds
Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking
I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say “no thanks” to everything else
Don’t worry, guys. Carl is clearly a brachiosaurus, which lived during the Jurassic period. (And before anyone says our lil’ boy Steve is a velociraptor and therefore puts our comic in the late cretaceous, aka the time of the comet–that lil guy could easily be a compsognathus or a caudipteryx, both Jurassic-era species of small theropod dinosaurs. So the light getting bigger every night is going to pass by harmlessly, and Steve and Carl can go on enjoying the stars together until they die of old age, since Carl has very few natural predators at his size and I bet he’ll protect Steve, if he needs it (though small, fast and carnivorous as Steve is, he probably won’t).
So it’s all good!!
That entire response explaining how these two characters didn’t die a fiery death but instead lived long and happy lives literally made my day.
the two previous movie series of Spider-Man always had it that Spidey was a Big Hit with the citizens of nyc in spite of the negative press/police departments actively hunting him down but we haven’t really seen anything like that in the mcu past Peter’s classmates simply being aware that Spider-Man is a hero who exists, like we didn’t see any slandering articles or angry officers which is WEIRD considering the canonical climate about superheros in the mcu right now so like….I really hope it carries over into this third series because frankly I love the idea of everyone in a post-accords world in constant debate about superheroes like ‘should they be held accountable for casualties’ and ‘does it make sense to give all this power to just a few people and force them to make potentially catastrophic situations’ and ‘do we even truly Need superheroes’ like any and all debate they can think of but at the same time, all the citizens in New York are collectively like ‘Yeah….but we’re gonna leave the Spider-Boy out of this….he just wants to help out….he’s doing his Best..’ lmao
The Entire City Of New York: after all the danger we’ve been placed in since these superheroes started popping up, since the Avenger’s set up a headquarters here- we’re sick of it. superheroes only prevent problems that they create in the first place and cause millions in damages doing it. we want our city to be safe!
Also The Entire City Of New York: we’ve only had Spider-Man for a year and a half but if anything ever happened to him we would kill everyone on this planet and then ourselves
J. Jonah Jameson: writes a scathing article about the ‘spider menace’ ‘terrorizing’ Queens and campaigns for his arrest and imprisonment alongside other ‘mutant menaces’
That Nice Old Lady that bought Peter a churro: *barges into the Daily Bugle office swinging her handbag with deadly force*
Citizens of New York City: fuck the avengers!!
The Rest Of The World: you do realize that your Spider-Man has been spotted helping the Avengers on multiple occasions and many believe him to be an honorable member of the team?
Deadpool movie advertising is best movie advertising 😆
This is even better than the tiny billboards they had for the Antman movie.
lets be real; deadpool’s marketing “team” is just ryan reynolds sitting in his deadpool onesie in his home office at 2am designing posters for the movie.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
