idiopathicsmile:

orjustbecauseyoucould:

zarekthelordofthefries:

mousathe14:

plume:

OMG everyone I know the ACTUAL story behind the gif this time!

Yes, it’s in Australia– that’s a big angry goanna that wandered into a popular restaurant. All the Australians in the vicinity went OH FUCK NO and cleared off, because goannas are mean.

The waitress you see there is a French exchange student, who was quoted as saying something to the effect of “I thought it was a weird ugly dog” and had no idea it was a reptile that wanted to rip her arms off. She’s been hailed as a hero who saved diners.

It’s amazing what power “not knowing” has.

The thing I especially love about this is this is a pretty dangerous animal, except she managed to defeat it by just fucking grabbing it by the tail and walking too quickly for it to turn around. Once again the animal kingdom is thwarted because we evolved opposable thumbs, long limbs, and reckless bravery.

weird, ugly dog thwarted by foreign exchange student and polished floors 

my take-home lesson here is that nobody in france has ever first-hand seen a dog

possession:

hate when you reblog a random cropped aesthetic post and some fool comes in your inbox like “this is from an incest hentai ye wee cunting man and if it isnt deleted by 2 pm yer callout will be strewn about the daily post” like aye how was i supposed tae know, and a better question why do you know this sire

footslam:

krafteasymac:

passionpeachy:

overlord-flinx:

tomatomagica:

tomatomagica:

butch hartman is undeserving of his first name

join my kickstarter to strip butch hartman of his name

Be pleased to know his first name isn’t Butch. It’s Elmer. Elmer Earl.

holy shit

Elmer Earl Fartman

bitchspinach:

“he or she, his or hers”

faun-songs:

v1als:

miss-serket:

solarine:

tkdancer:

tharook:

notquiteapolyglot:

þink again.

getting thorny in the linguistics fandom

þorny*

That also goes for using ß as an aesthetic B. 

On my old server, there was a character named ßillyßadass.

This never failed to make me laugh, because that letter is not pronounced like B. It is a sharp S. 

That guy named himself SsillySsadass. 

Also to people who you Σ as an aesthetic E

that’s an S too, Σo maybe check next time

oh boy

Д as an aesthetic A? Дon’t be a дumbass.

И as an aesthetic N? don’t be sillи.

П as another aesthetic N? stoп it.

У as an aesthetic Y? ty bad.

Ш or Щ as an aesthetic W? nope. it’s “sh” and “shch”!

Я as an aesthetic R? surprise! it’s “ya”.

ah yes, that classic horror film SNYEYAPOVUL DIAYAIES

being forced to read variations of  SNYEYAPOVUL DIAYAIES is probably the bigger horror story of the two

helloplanetpack:

this is the funniest joke I’ve ever made

tearlessrain:

bace-jeleren:

bace-jeleren:

It doesn’t matter how terrifying or monstrous or deadly you make your eldritch monster, there’s gonna be a person who hauls themselves out of the sewers to tell you that they will personally fuck it.

This post has so many notes and it’s mostly people calling out their friends for being sewer-dwelling awful cryptid fuckers and I love it. Expose them.

catchymemes:

Inevitable

afallenwolf:

elosoquelee:

kesus:

Hulk got his eyebrows threaded..new hair…nose job…contour kit…go off miss thang

Well, the Grandmaster really knows how to take care of their beloved champion

^ Headcannon accepted