the video of the guy jumping on the mcdonalds counter screaming IM PICKLE RICK WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB evokes nearly the same amount of raw animalistic energy that the video of those homestuck cosplayers spitting into a plastic bucket to “make nic cage” and passing the bucket full of spit around in a public resteraunt does
Situation: monk(me), bard, and rogue are accused of murdering their interviewer and have guards ready to attack them in a box room,of a theatre.
Rogue: I’m,gonna jump out the window and climb down the curtain
Monk:you are going to fall.
Rogue: pshhh no I won’t
*rogue proceeds to fall taking the curtain down with him leaving monk and bard with no safe way out*
Dm: now your only way out is to fight, which I have tons of enemies planned to come after you.
Monk:how about no*scoops up bard and rolls 19 to jump out the window and land without a scratch on either*
Dm:…how…
hey here’s something I learned only today despite being a lifelong Harry Potter reader
Hagrid is 12 fucking feet tall
people are having a laugh at me for not knowing this but can you blame me? i thought “really tall” was like… 8-9 feet maximum. 12 feet is a fucking lot
Soooo…uhh…
…let’s talk about this.
I feel like—we—we definitely need to talk about this.
Okay I’ve taken these comments into account…
…and I’ve made a new scale.
You’re not going to like it.
You’re really not going to like it.
…That can’t…possibly be right…
you’re right, that can’t possibly be right. because it isn’t. the passage you quote says “twice the height of a man and four times as broad.” the depiction you’ve edited into being accidentally takes this to mean “twice the height of a man, and four times as broad as a twelve-foot-tall man” which simply isn’t what we’re meant to take away. allow me to take the liberty of starting us over.
figure 1, harry’s approximate height. figure 3, hagrid’s height. figure 2, four average adult males (about 5′10″), put side by side to illustrate what rowling meant when she wrote “four times as broad.”
these arehagrid’s clearly intended approximate proportions compared to an average 11-year-old’s height. stocky, but not horrifically so.
again, this is still an absurd size for hagrid to be while people around him somehow don’t notice he’s half-giant. but i think we should reasonably conclude that the descriptions above are exaggerations from the perspective of a young boy and not the gospel truth. here, as always throughout the series, harry has a rather vague idea of what’s going on around him.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
