Silver Tongue
aconnormanning:
“zoinks!
”

captainesc:

Baby: h … H …

Mother: Our baby is about to say their first word!

Father: come on bud, you can do it!

Baby: h … H …

Baby: Hey you, you’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there.

stardustsherlock:

spacebumble:

lochnessie:

  1. Can we as millennials and gen-z’s collectively agree that NObody Cares about elbows on the table like Why was that Ever A Problem for Anyone?? We can chill right?

nobody asked for this but the origin of not putting one’s elbows on the table comes from the late 18th/early 19th century when wooden ships were still used in the navy- sailors would balance their plates between their elbows while eating to keep them from sliding around. because sailors developed a reputation on-land for being uncouth and aggressive, the placing of elbows on the table became associated with such behaviour.

some cultural historians believe it also goes back further, to the middle ages, when large banquet-style meals were served on trestle tables that had no side support. if someone put their elbows on the table, they risked bringing the whole table down with them.

so basically, there is no longer any need to NOT put elbows on the table, and there hasn’t been since the advent of steamships.

I love this because now i can smartass the next person who tries to give me shit for it

cartoonpolitics:
“(cartoon by David Horsey)
”

theglowpt2:

if you’ve seen the breaking news that trump just signed an executive order today to end the family separation policy here’s some quick info to keep things in perspective

  • this doesn’t end the “zero tolerance” policy of prosecuting anyone who crosses the border “illegally” 
  • the only thing this changes is that going forward, entire families will be detained together while awaiting prosecution 
  • this offers no solution for freeing the thousands of children currently held in ICE child prisons or any path to reuniting them with their families 
  • children will still be detained and treated as criminals
  • this will likely lead to thousands of families being held in ICE facilities and tent cities that will face the exact same issues of overcrowding, abuse, and inhumane conditions that exist in the child prisons

this is not a victory or a solution. This is the administration trying to cover their asses and avoid any more public outrage. They want people to see this as the end of the news story and go back to their lives. They want people to forget the thousands of children they are still keeping in cages in ICE facilities across the nation. This issue is not over and we cannot stop being outraged until we are given proof that the thousands of kidnapped children are returned to their families, and that the policy of arresting and prosecuting people who cross the border is ended. 

pipistrellus:

pipistrellus:

“Homeowners with citrus trees in their yards can apply online to have parasitic wasps mailed to them that can then be released onto citrus trees”

Thanks, Florida Department of Agriculture

I wonder if you have to PROVE that you own citrus trees so they can weed out the freeloaders who just want to cheat the government out of wasps

glumshoe:

A couple years ago I found an ebay listing for a “haunted cap”. The seller was describing how strange things began happening in his house after he found a hat and a doll in his attic, so he was selling both ‘cause he didn’t know which one was the source of the haunting. 

image

That’s right. He looked at that raggedy old hat and that monstrous burnt doll and couldn’t tell which one of them was more haunted.