aspidosecalis:

paleopsychotic:

aspidosecalis:

why is winter Like This

Planet’s tilted

Tilt it back.

notedchampagne:

sha la la la la la my oh my this is unfinished bye i gotta… apologize

catchymemes:

Local council called out on Twitter

hannahbadgerdontcare:

fatngaynyer:

jonbutter:

agoodcartoon:

im sure there’s a self-own in here somewhere but i’m gonna leave this one up to sarcastic teens on the internet

Fixed it

I’ll just leave this here

lesserjoke:

fleetwoodbrak:

gollums loincloth is like 2 inches of toilet paper and he’s hopping around like disneys quasimodo doing acrobatics and we as an audience are narrowly spared from seeing his peepee but you cannot you CANNOT argue that sam and frodo didnt see it at least once!! they didn’t want to but they didn’t have things like camera angles to save them they probably saw gollums swinging little meat sack a hundred times and both of them just decided to never ever mention it

did they decide to never ever mention it or are they talking about it constantly every time the camera cuts away? we the audience get to decide and that’s why i think fiction is so powerful

internetsurfingdragon:

• has been mistaken for gay seemingly A Lot and is not only very good natured about it, but make non-offensive jokes about it.
  
• horse lose in a hospital
• asked for his wife’s permission to make fun of her on stage
• the whole what’s new pussycat sketch
• doesn’t like pineapple on pizza but isn’t hateful towards people who do
• married Adam Driver in a sketch and had a half-fish kid with him
• he left it out in the version on netflix but in my city doing kid gorgeous he said he actually did write his college a check (I don’t remember how much)
  
• “NOOOOO!!!!”
  
• bought a stroller for Petunia (his dog) so that she could go on walks and be social despite being unable to breath by design
• “🎵because we’re united airlines and life is a fucking nightmare🎵”

Feel free to add

The Mcnamara party

wearealltalesintheend:

this week on buzzfeed unsolved: was there really a ghost mother or was the dead victorian girl John Mulaney all along?

When you forget that you have capslock on and your sentences are all caps except for the first letter

eitheryouskateoryoudie:

silver-tongues-blog:

nikadd:

mrsmosby-wannabe:

Y’all John Mulaney didn’t die in Infinity War J.J. Bittenbinder taught him better than that

john mulaney when thanos arrives: you want this stone? go get it!

thanos was at the salt and pepper diner.

Hes the guy with anger issues and the kids bouncing around and he went GODDAMMIT

damn now i wanna see someone draw thanos at a diner with nebula and gamora and whats new pussycat is playing in the background

nikadd:

mrsmosby-wannabe:

Y’all John Mulaney didn’t die in Infinity War J.J. Bittenbinder taught him better than that

john mulaney when thanos arrives: you want this stone? go get it!

thanos was at the salt and pepper diner.