the worst part about being a samurai is it always takes a few seconds before someone’s blood will spray out of their wounds so you waste a lot of time waiting to see who won each dramatic showdown
And lemme tell ya there are a lot of dramatic showdowns. I’ll be on a nice walk when suddenly white flower petals are drifting on the wind and there’s someone I once considered a friend and confidant standing with his back to the full moon and Im just like. Fucks sake I swear I just did this.
do y’all remember that short story where a scientist like, raises his daughter with no contact from the outside world and teaches her english wrong, like he teaches her that ‘yes’ and ‘no’ have the opposite meaning than they actually do and that ‘up’ means ‘down’ and vice versa, and then this guy meets her and starts to teach her what the words actually mean and she kinda sorta starts to get it and like, realize that it’s fucked up
and then one day she’s not home and the house is on fire and her dad’s inside and the firefighters are like ‘is there anyone inside’ and she says ‘no’ and we don’t know whether she understands what she’s saying or not
wild
no I do not but please tell me more
What IS it with short stories that are just seven crunchy layers of fucked up?
There’s another one from the same author about a salesman who goes from town to town selling his miracle glue. He gives demonstations showing that if you rejoin two pieces of cut rope with it, the rope can hold up a car! (And of course, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link).
But it turns out he’s a conman, and while the glue does work, it dissolves after a few hours of use, which is why the salesman keeps moving from town to town. And we see a few scenes of people caught up in the scam, like a guy who’s canoe sinks because he plugged a hole using the glue, or an old lady crying because her fine china - which she thought she could finally repair for good - breaks apart again.
And then the salesman meets another inventor, who presents his portable flying machine. It’s a little box you attach to your wrist like a watch, and it really lets you fly! The inventor says he actually made two, and lets the salesman borrow one, and they go flying together. It’s quite fun, to the point of losing track of time, and the two seem to get along, conversing all the while.
The salesman loves the flying and the conversation, they’re miles up and it’s thrilling. But the inventor admits the two flying machines are miles apart in terms of quality, and he decided to give the better one to the salesman for their little flight.
After all, it’s made using the salesman’s miracle glue.
Whoa! I recognised these plots right away! These are both short stories by australian author, Paul Jennings - “No is Yes” and “Strap Box Flyer” respectively I believe!
They were both published in his “Un-” series of short story compilations with titles like “Unbelievable”, “Uncanny”, “Unreal” etc.
I read those books over and over when I was growing up and the plots of early seasons of the iconic Aussie kids show “Round The Twist” are actually based on his short stories!
He wrote heaps of other really cool stories I definitely recommend checking out! Paul Jennings is fantastic! 😎👌
“RIP Jonathan Harker but I’m different” really??? are you really though?
You, a new hire, loaded with student debt, upcoming wedding to pay for, been given a huge opportunity at work, employer paying all your travel costs. you’re telling methat you, exploited corporate lackey that you are, you would actually be self-empowered enough to turn back last minute? after spending all that time and money traveling to the rich client’s megamansion? because of what–BAD VIBES?how precisely the fuck do you plan on explaining that to your boss???bitch your credit score can’t AFFORDto avoid red flags, you’re going into a possible life-or-death situation whether you like it or not, that’s capitalism baby!!!
Really disappointed that “women can be both strong and feminine” has been turned into “women can be strong but only if they’re sexy about it” by a lot of modern media.
time to bring back “women can be strong and they don’t have to be feminine” and also “women can be strong and they don’t have to be sexy” and also time to riot a little
i’ve gotten like 5 different coworkers to sign up for a library card
as soon as i hear someone talking about audiobooks and their prices i IMMEDIATELY go into my rant on how audible is a scam when the library has an extensive collection of audiobooks FOR FREE & the next day they come in telling me they cancelled their subscription and got a library card… doing gods work
destroying bezos one audible subscription cancellation at a time
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
