This was all out of character, during combat. My player was fighting an ape.
Player: *rolls nat 20 when attacking, damage higher than ape’s AC* I SLICE HIM IN HALF!
DM: His body falls limply to the ground, there is blood everywhere. It pools around your feet, as you stare at the body, fingers still twitching. You killed an innocent creature, but your path is clear.
Player: I cut off its head.
DM: You’re… going to decapitate the ape you just killed.
Player: I cut off its head!
DM: Okay.. you cut off its head, in what appears to be a manic battle rage. Blood spurts from the arteries, spraying your face. The spurting continues as you lift up your trophy, as you realize the wolf and sheep are still nearby. They look horrified.
Player: I loot the body.
DM: You’re gonna loot the body of the ape you just sliced in half and then decapitated?
Player: … He got in my way. *shrugs*
DM: *sigh* Fleas. You find fleas. Because he is an APE. Do you or do you not eat the fleas?
Player: My intelligence modifier is -3, of course I eat the flea.
5, Karkat: Karkat Vantas, known for his temper and yelling, uses his mouth to shout and curse quite often, and it’s very effective with such a big one!
4, John Egbert: At first glance, John Egbert does not seem to have a large mouth, however, he has a lot of teeth to fit in there and needs the extra space. No one is really sure exactly how many teeth he has.
3, Caliborn and Calliope: Who could forget that time Calibron gnawed though his leg? He must have a very large moth to accomplish such an action, and of course Calliope shares the same mouth, so she too has the same abilities.
2, Terezi: We all know you were expecting this one! Terezi is a big fan of many tastes and flavors, she very much enjoys putting the largest objects she can find in her moth, which only increase it’s already large size.
Honorable mentions: Kanaya, Vriska, Dirk, and Wayward Vagabond
1, Hearts Boxcars:
There’s no need for elaboration.
Big thanks to @hypeswap for helping me out with my new video, remember to like, comment, and subscribe!
dirk strider: According to the theoretical concept of the existence of the multiverse, there is a universal offshoot wherein I am a loving, kind, and caring creator; one who lets their magnificent creations exist in peace and harmony.
dirk strider, continuing to pour out the water hal just boiled for his tea, moving to replace said water with orange gatorade: This is not that universe.
hi everyone im still pissed we never learnt in school that shakespeare was bi and wrote the sonnets about a dude and a woc he was into
hi everyone im still pissed that we were told emily dickinson was a spinster when she spent her whole life writing love letters to a woman
hi everyone im still pissed about the fact that we never got taught any of the super super gay Greek myths. it seems impossible to think they managed to pick all the hetero myths when Greece was just THAT gay but guess what? they did.
hi everyone virginia woolf was also bi im still pissed that so much of literature is queer and has queer coding within it that deserves to be analysed through that lens in the same way that we don’t ignore the gender of an author, but sexuality is never mentioned in highschool literature classes
let your players make up the magic system as they go along, doing whatever overpowered bullshit they want as long as they give a brief in-universe explanation of why they can do that (e.g. “actually i’m immune to fire magic because i’m wearing red”).
keep track of everything they do. then use the magic system they created against them, turning every deus ex machina they ever gave themselves into a diabolus ex machina (e.g. “you notice that the giant plant monster has a red ribbon tied around its trunk, making it immune to fire magic”).
its 2017 and i will still confidentially admit Homestuck had a great fucking shipping quadrant for fuckin multi ships and i will unshamefully apply it to other fandom ships
it’s 2018 and I still stand by this
Hussie: designs a shipping system he believes to be overcomplicated and nitpicky to screw with fans:
Everyone else: Actually this is a pretty useful rough system for different kinds of romantic, sexual and platonic relationships. It’s not perfect but it’s got a good amount of variety for fiction. I can use this.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
