vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

one time i was on an old street in glasgow and i made a loud joke about vampires and as i did this beautiful man with long hair on the other side of the street made direct eye contact with me and then ten minutes later he walked by again and looked at me and I still count that on my list of the five closest times I’ve ever come to dying

likely: I am just too loud to not look at in public places and he was just lost downtown

also likely: vampire, scoping me out for the kill

incorrectfmaquotes:

Winry: [does something cute]

Edward @ god: are you seeing this shit?

Truth: fucking unbelievable

thelegendofkungjew:

Given the constant normalisation of mental illness, antirecovery, and straight up suicidal ideation on this bullshit website alone, I really can’t be mad about this.

This is the exact kind of vacuous bullshit their target demographic loves.

banishedquasiroyal:

my bro and i were talking today about tolkein basically being thinly veiled manly man friendship Cool Dude MAN erotica and anyway here’s some solid points of why lord of the rings is gay

-hobbits are a race solely composed of otters. dwarves are bears. elves are twinks. you want monster dudes? guess what we have those too

-feet size = dick size = hobbits are fucking tripods

-sam & frodo

-literally every book is gratuitous examples of the world around them in order to avoid tolkein writing a thirsty essay about aragorn’s chest hair

-all female ents live in gardens bc they couldn’t deal with the sheer Manly Masculinity Of Male Trees, Who Are Dudes

-swords

-creepy old dude who preys on twinks (gollum)

anyway. in conclusion tolkein probably would be the guy today who says that he’s straight even tho he reblogs greco roman naked wrestling and says that He Just Appreciated The Sweaty Dripping Bodies

moralitycalls:

Someday, someday. 

no-w0rriess:

pissedoffpineapple:

actualjackzimmermann:

This tiny octopus, whose body measured about five centimeters across, was spotted swimming along at a depth of 825 meters as we explored Whiting Seamount, off Puerto Rico.

its little floPPY EARS

lil buddy is on a BIG adventure

howtobangyourmonster:

writing-prompt-s:

Your mom admits to you that you have some… supernatural blood running through your veins. But she doesn’t remember what kind, cause she was kinda a hoe. 

The Mama Mia! reboot I’d love to see…

Alchemy’s number one taboo is human transmutation. its number two taboo is turning a gallon of water into a gallon of rootbeer

jameshoppy:

silver-tongues-blog:

the-regeneratin-degenerate:

writing-prompt-s:

You’re an immortal. Your secret? Flirting with death and running away as fast as you can once they’re distracted.

Reversal: You flirt with death and actually want to die. But death runs away every time.

Death gets flustered and is just trying to figure out how to properly reciprocate the feeling

This…is deadpool??

Nah, deadpool and death hit it off quite well. In fact, thats why thanoss wants to kill everyone in the universe. As a gesture of his love to death.