Silver Tongue

lordeofthesun:

harlequinesque:

rarabro:

siri read a message from my mom (2017)

i think we’ve gotten as close to a real life Howler as we can get

this is literally the funniest thing Ive ever seen in my life

therealpeaches:
“This was posted by a bot so this is the most meta thing I have ever seen. I am legit 90% certain this bot has attained sentience bc I’ve been following it for a while and it had posted quite a few coherent jokes, despite being...

therealpeaches:

This was posted by a bot so this is the most meta thing I have ever seen. I am legit 90% certain this bot has attained sentience bc I’ve been following it for a while and it had posted quite a few coherent jokes, despite being shitpostbot5k. And there’s a certain amount of non-coherent jokes that make me thing it’s not a human behind this. It’s like a reverse Turing test.

moxperidot:
“ eldritch-seinfeld:
“”
so no-one told you life was gonna be this way *dun dun*
”

moxperidot:

eldritch-seinfeld:

image

so no-one told you life was gonna be this way *dun dun*

the-cosmic-empire:

“One of my best friends was killed in gun violence right around here, so it’s important to me.”

[Paul, at March For Our Lives, New York City, 24th March 2018]

Paul and Nancy photographed at the New York City March For Our Lives gun violence protest today. 

Pics: Rex / Shutterstock / Spencer Platt / Getty 

homiedepot:
“ melymbrosia:
“Why would u celebrate ur child being a Gemini
”
Not a celebration, a warning
”
gemini are hard to kill. you’ll get them half dead but your only hope is that they just fuck off and go blind

homiedepot:

melymbrosia:

Why would u celebrate ur child being a Gemini

Not a celebration, a warning

gemini are hard to kill. you’ll get them half dead but your only hope is that they just fuck off and go blind

kenkus-delivery-service:

Russian psyop agent: -sits on secluded park bench-

Handler: -sits down, not making eye contact- I like your shoelaces.

Russian psyop agent: -staring straight ahead- Thanks, I stole them from the president.

Handler: -nods once, slides over manila envelope labeled “dank socialist memes-

pyrlspite:
“tumblr sexymen alignment chart
”

pyrlspite:

tumblr sexymen alignment chart

standard-dingo:
“ abiggaynerd:
“ bobavader:
“ biomerge:
“facts only
”
Why the fuck am I seeing shrek slander on my dashboard right now. Did any of you even watch the goddamn films. I can’t believe this. You guys don’t deserve shrek.
”
Fuck you Fiona...

standard-dingo:

abiggaynerd:

bobavader:

biomerge:

facts only

Why the fuck am I seeing shrek slander on my dashboard right now. Did any of you even watch the goddamn films. I can’t believe this. You guys don’t deserve shrek.

Fuck you Fiona was already an ogre and was trying to hide that part of herself because her parents told her to be ashamed but shrek helped her accept that part of herself and become her true self unapologetically! Fuck you 

OP is lord farquaad

op literally evicted all fairytail creatures but go off i guess

golden-alphonse-elric:

Favorite FMA male characters: Greedling

Fu: I wasn’t trying to save your ass; I was saving the body of the Young Lord! Greedling: Eh, it’s the same ass.