Silver Tongue

bossybussy:

cloudfreed:

hypanthiun:

Gay culture is keeping your phone in your back pocket

i diasgree. gay culture is keeping your phone in your front pocket or your bag so people can see your ass

Top / Bottom

yourplayersaidwhat:

(The players walk into a room with an undetected invisible creature in it)

DM: “You see nothing.”

(remembers there are visible enemies in the room as well)

DM: “And two archers.”

This happened over a decade ago and we still make jokes about invisible creatures every time a DM says there’s nothing to see.

swolerbear:

k-lionheart:

Reblog if you’re a petticoated swashbuckler and would stab a man with a hairpin

honestly I love history that reminds us that the assholes of today are exactly like the assholes of yesteryear

we should start wearing giant hats with pins that might as well be rapiers again

harleyismyhero:

feedmecomicart:

I KNOW HOW MY FILTHY MUTANT ABILITIES UPSET YOU, SCHMIDT. DON’T WORRY–

–YOU WILL DIE PURE. NO MAGNETISM 

JUST FISTS.

reblog Magneto punching a Nazi

you won’t get anything for it, except for a kickass photoset of Magneto punching a Nazi on your blog

violentfutches:

malcolmcooks:

animate-mush:

violentfutches:

so a tourist in Italy is fulfilling her lifelong dream of seeing the birth of venus, her fave painting, in person. and while she’s there a Hot Girl strikes up a conversation with her and she loves art and is charming and they talk until the museum closes. they exchange numbers. the next day the birth of Venus painting is stolen, nobody knows who stole it. so anyways, the two girls continue dating and are happy and shit? and on their one year anniversary her girlfriend reveals that she’s an international art thief and she stole the birth of venus after meeting her. tourist girl flips and wants it returned she doesn’t want to just. hoard the art so nobody can see it. so then art thief has to do a reverse heist where she sneaks the painting back into the museum without getting caught

Bear in mind that the Birth of Venus is like 15 feet tall and 30 feet wide…

why would you have to do a reverse heist instead of like
thouroughly cleaning it of fingerprints, DNA and other trace evidence and then just quietly dropping it off round the back underneath a tarp and a note attached

because she’s gay and loves drama don’t ever question me again

thesanityclause:

socialjusticesummoner:

oldcoyote:

i had a moment today while watching a whiny shitlord complain about the injustice of new sci-fi media having more female leads, i suddenly felt the strangest sense of déjà vu. i couldn’t pintpoint it at first but then out of nowhere, it fucking dawned on me

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This is the single greatest meme in the history of the Internet everyone can stop making memes now we don’t need any more ever again

I think I’ve already reblogged this but I don’t care it’s just pure gospel

oh-snap-pro-choice:

17freedomgals76:

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I support banning abortion entirely (with the exception of threat to the life of the mother) and banning at 20 weeks is a great start! This bill NEEDS to be passed! - Martha Washington

Only about 20 percent of foetuses at 23 weeks survive. Its even less for 22 weeks.

And by the way, do you know how many abortions happen after 20 weeks? One percent! You wanna know why they happen?

Because of foetal abnormalities, unviable pregnancies, or severe threat to the pregnant person.

No one is pregnant for 20 weeks and then magically devices no. Abortions that happen then are medically needed.

I reiterate… THESE ARE THE LAWS THAT KILLED SAVITA.

These bans KILL WOMEN TO SAVE UNVIABLE PREGNANCIES.

rasec-wizzlbang:

just-a-random-nerd:

the-cats-pajamboree:

dajo42:

dajo42:

harry potter: “albus severus, blah blah blah slytherin tootle toot fart noise you were named after the bravest man i’ve ever known”

teddy lupin: “hey uh… remember my fucking dad”

[albus arrives at hogwarts]

albus: “hello professor! did you know severus snape? my dad says he was the bravest man he ever knew”

neville longbottom: “is that fucking right”

neville writes an owl to harry containing two words

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Originally posted by animatedtext

Writes? That letter is a howler and you cannot convince me otherwise.

A howler that just screams “fake bitch”

keycrash:

saying “credit to their respective artists!’ ain’t fuckin credit it’s like me walking into a store taking a microwave and yelling “money to the cashier!” as i leave without paying

imaratmanmyself:

listen im never gonna stop laughing at this exchange i love kanaya so much

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