Alien: You shouldn’t eat that.
Human: What?
Alien: That thing. Don’t you know it’s extremely acidic? Enough to cause eventual deterioration of your flesh?
Human: ….it’s a fucking pineapple.
Alien: But that thing contains bromelain, it’ll destroy your body’s proteins!
Human: Not if I digest the bromelain first.
Alien: Humans are insane!
“Not if I digest it first” is an official human motto, in close competition with “not if I pet it first”.
s t o p
one day in minneapolis, Aristotle and a Pirate went to Chipotle after their jazz pilates session for some guacamole. They then met with his daughter at her ballet class and went to an arcade to play whack-a-mole and pineapples but they didnt have their wallet. the air was filled with awkward laughter
Saw this shared on FB. It covers counter-arguments for a lot of the most common pro-gun points you’ll see people raise. Long read, but very helpful.
This is amazing. Thank you dude for doing all this work.
oh shit …
collab with the one and only @paulepz !!!!
she did the sketch, i did the color and lineart!!! her style is amazing and i just love her so much ❤ ❤ ❤
Hey guess who finally made the collab of his dreams.
Sweet angel @nekurothings did the sketch. I just lined and coloured. Thank you for making this happen hon, love u sm too.
I’m starting to think that it’s an unspoken rule that the Peixes typing quirk is contagious. Like maybe they all emit a low level psychic field that makes people more prone to making fish puns.
the fact that Loki’s death scene in Thor 2 was originally intended to be real & retconned later and the end where he’s alive was filmed during pickups has me SO fucked up because now I can’t choose between which headcanon I prefer re: his behavior in Ragnarok. like listen, okay, either:
1. loki was planning on playing dead the whole time and so his very sad death scene & everything he said therein was a calculated move and he was practically writing the theatrical version of it (starring matt damon as himself) as he went along
OR
2. loki really thought he was dying and every melodramatic word of his death scene was 100% heartfelt and then after he realized he wasn’t dead he fucking… woke up peaced out to go take over asgard (lol?) and several months later he was sitting on the throne and could remember every word of what he said to thor on that day and was like “wow im so fucking poetic. that should be a play. starring matt damon as Me perhaps”
and I honestly could not tell you which is better
i like the latter because it implies that he went to midgard to specifically request matt damon for the play
