Silver Tongue

tombstonettromboners:

sn0wbro:

my aesthetic: left 4 dead 2 graffiti 

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Not including the legend himself:

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birdwithapeopleface:

beverlyroadgoose:

minimalist bedrooms are nice but you’ll never catch my cluttered materialist ass alive

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sewickedthread:

oldeststoryintheuniverse:

sfmfm:

that-weird-mexicore-girl:

American sex ed is taught like Dolores Umbridge’s Defense of the Dark Arts class.

“Why would you need to know about sex? If you aren’t having it, there will be no need for protection”

okay but this is the most accurate thing i’ve ever seen? amazing.

Yep

showerthoughtsofficial:

The U.S. gloating about how it kicked everyone’s ass in WWII is the equivalent of the old guy who still talks about the winning touchdown pass he threw in high school.

Battle of the Bastards: Nothing Happens

yourplayersaidwhat:

I’m using three dice to determine an out-of-sight NPC’s actions, but my custom d8 (with players names on it) keeps coming up on players who aren’t present. As such, the players just hear me rolling multiple dice and then announcing “nothing happens” every round

Player: “I swear she’s giving herself bonuses every time she says nothing happens!”

Me: “I might!“ 

My next turn comes around and once again the d8 says to target a player who isn’t present. 

Me: *smiling knowingly* “Nothing happens.”

Humans are adorable.

ladugard:

shakespork:

teaboot:

Supporting evidence:

1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.

2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring

3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!

4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.

5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.

6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!

7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!

8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!

9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!

10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated

11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc

12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks

this sounds like it was written by a really enthusiastic alien humanologist

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woshibai:

“Portrait” by Woshibai

laughingacademy:
“ thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
“WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN CAPS
”
I am totally going to start using “Trouble in caps and italics!” an an exclamation.
”

laughingacademy:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN CAPS

I am totally going to start using “Trouble in caps and italics!” an an exclamation.

clientsfromhell:

Client: There’s a problem with the Trip Report. I ran it for last year and it added up to 366 days.

Me: 2016 was a leap year.

kang0-0a:

big coat