Silver Tongue

kalanchoeblossfeldiana:

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theres never going to be another type of guy like this again fr

fartgallery:
“fartgallery:
“in case anyone was wondering, you can summon a couple thousand crabs before losing the ability to press the crab button (because it is covered by crabs)
”
oh god… the crabs, they… they’re ESCAPING! SOMEBODY HE-
”

fartgallery:

fartgallery:

in case anyone was wondering, you can summon a couple thousand crabs before losing the ability to press the crab button (because it is covered by crabs)

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oh god… the crabs, they… they’re ESCAPING! SOMEBODY HE-

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Originally posted by knightowlet

thunderpibb:

Happy anniversary to Jeff Kinney inventing one of the most brutal bullying tactics of our time.

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coolxatu:

in memoriam

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huffylemon:

huffylemon:

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an important addition

420technoblazeit:

hiveswap:

hiveswap:

It… it didn’t crash? No. No NO

MY GREAT SYMPHONY OF VIOLENCE, CURSED BY THE GODS TO NEVER COME TO FRUITION!!!

At last i am free, but at what cost? How many lives were lost in the trenches, how many queues delayed? I curse thee, oh enemy, villian!

Shall i be exiled from this homeland of mine? Cursed to live in a far away land forever aching to come home but never getting to? Or shall i remain amidst the ruins of my dash, rendered unscrollable by the posts of the fallen?

In the end there’s one last thing to say, at the face of adversity:

CRASH

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we’ll get ‘em next time, boys

dajo42:

dajo42:

dajo42:

the best first date question is obviously “as a kid did you ever just like, burn things”. you will be able to gain everything you need to know from their answer or even just their immediate reaction

a few people asking what the right answer is meant to be- there isnt an objectively correct answer, it tells you whatever you need to know

that being said the correct answer for me is “yes, frequently”

okay lots of people adding their answer which is very cool and chill. however some of you are just explicitly confessing to arson which i would personally advise against on a public platform. like just the confession part though. like be gay do fire crimes but dont snitch on yourself

i used to stick rolls of toilet paper on sticks and light them with a magnifying glass to have a torch

syrupmancer:
“ I’m late for fma art but i just want everyone to know i care them
”

syrupmancer:

I’m late for fma art but i just want everyone to know i care them