Silver Tongue

yourplayersaidwhat:

Someone stole the Captain’s cookies aboard a boat, en route to our destination. Obviously an investigation had to follow.

Bard OOC: I want to question the human. He looks suspicious. 

Rogue OOC: The Captain said he was gluten intolerant. 

Bard: “Hey, you. Did you take the cookies?”

Human: “No. I don’t eat gluten. I think -”

Bard: “How do we know you’re not lying?”

Human: “I -”

Bard: “Hey, Cleric, pin him down. Let’s make him eat bread.”

Cleric OOC: I rolled a 19! I’m pinning him down!

Paladin OOC: I rolled a nat 20 on strength to shove bread in his mouth!

Bard: “Yes! Yes! Shove at least four slices! A good amount of gluten! Is he puking yet?”

They were all very surprised when the NPC was not only actually a celiac, but very upset with the party after this stunt. 

didyaknowanimation:
“ Source
”

ms-demeanor:

beardset:

just-shower-thoughts:

December 31, 2017 is the only day where every adult was born in the 1900’s and everyone else under 18 was born in the 2000’s

I don’t like this post

it approaches.

yourplayersaidwhat:

(context: my wizard and fighter are arguing whether to go explore the dungeon or stay in the town and talk to more people)

wizard: i slap him with my fish

me: excuse me

wizard: did i fucking stutter

me: fine, you [wizard] roll a d20 and you [fighter] roll dexterity saving to see if you can dodge

wizard: nat 20 get fUCKED

fighter: are you fucking kidding me. *turns to me* are you actually letting this happen

me: listen, he said he wanted to slap you with a fish, so i guess roll a d3 for fish

wizard: i got a 3 motherFUCKER

fighter: WE’RE ONLY LEVEL 1 YOU TOOK A THIRD OF MY HEALTH ALREADY

goopy-amethyst:

phuijl:

livster-the-schmuck:

lancespeaks:

phuijl:

phuijl:

coonfootproductions:

phuijl:

phuijl:

caparikan:

arrestedforloitering:

missespeon:

eyjoey:

dont forget

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you can tell the first generation of weeaboos are starting to make cartoons. you can just tell.

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#Someone add a picture of woy #With the Voltron robot   

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Once again, Tumblr has failed to include any Nick shows. Allow me to fix that…

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#WHAT ABOUT THE PHINEAS AND FERB CARAMELDANSEN

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#and dont forget the new svtfoe ep w a sailor moon ripoff

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Robomechabotatron is my spirit animal
Bless this post

You forgot the most important one!

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#someone add OK KO please

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How could you guys forget

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swordlesbianopinions:

why do straight ppl assume us gays to be soo attracted to them like your fashion sucks. Do you even know how to use a sword? Smfh

greelin:

greelin:

like if you make a cashier cry you’re evil! sorry! you don’t get a free pass! you don’t get to stand there and see someone visibly stressed and already doing everything they can to help people and move things along as swiftly as possible and act like a toddler and insult them bc you aren’t getting your way in the snap of your fingers! they’re trying their damnedest! they don’t want to be there but they’ve gotta and that involves dealing w/ ppl and when it comes to that kind of behavior! you’re ugly!

no buts! you’re just evil! sorry if that hurts your feelings but you don’t seem to care about doing that to others so! sucks huh

fuckyeahsnackables:
“ particularlyparasitic:
“I appreciate this lots since I do 5/6 of these. And because of that a lot of people don’t know I’m anxious/have anxiety or therefore how to offer support
”
it’s unsettling when i realize that i’ve been...

fuckyeahsnackables:

particularlyparasitic:

I appreciate this lots since I do 5/6 of these. And because of that a lot of people don’t know I’m anxious/have anxiety or therefore how to offer support

it’s unsettling when i realize that i’ve been spiraling with anxiety, but that it’s been coming out in my amped emotions or irritable behavior towards my spouses. or sister.

endangered-justice-seeker:
“  http://therapyforblackgirls.com
reblog to save a life
”

bemusedlybespectacled:

kismati:

men: *decided women weren’t allowed attend schools, study sciences, or have access to higher education*
men: well if women are so smart then how come there aren’t many contributions from women in history huh

men: *takes credit for women’s accomplishments*
men: why don’t women contribute anything?