insomniac-arrest:

the rest of the country: trying to sell me something while I drive >:(

the midwest: asking me sleepover questions :)

mad-maddie:

some people talk shit about homestuck but i vividly recall a lesbian turning into a vampire before chainsawing a dude in half and re-applying her lipstick with the stains of his blood also she and her god-girlfriend live and get married as endgame so frankly everyone can either back off or step up their game 

yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: players are arguing with a gatekeeper, whom just told them to find a lost member of his order.

GK: He has a strange hammer, with a flint near the head of it. I suppose it would light aflame or explode?

Tiefling: So we need to find a bitch with an exploding hammer? Sounds easy enough.

Tiefling: can’t wait for THAT to come back to haunt me.

lyyriums:

just adhd things: skipping letters in words, misspelling words, skipping a word entirely, or writing down a completely different word than intended because your mind is already 3. 8 light years away from that thought

queen-beastie:

bonus:

switch:

you guys can’t put shit like “the op of the aphobe block list is kin with rick sanchez from rick and morty” on my dash and not expect me to go into spontaneous cardiac arrest. you guys gotta start paying my medical bills for this.

noctea:

being born in 97/98/99 is frustrating bc like… are we millenials?? Maybe! Are we generation Z?? Maybe!! Are we 90s kids? Not really! Are we emotionally and mentally stable? No t rea lly

renamok:

This woman confronts racism in the funniest way possible.

just-shower-thoughts:

Straight males have seen so many blowjobs in porn that many of them might be amazing at doing them.

moonaluxe:

pros of making content of your favorite character: content of your favorite character

cons of making content of your favorite characte: making