girl: come over me: i can’t, i’m using my sensitive barbels scour the riverbed for morsels of food girl: i hollowed out a nesting cavity under a flat stone me:
I think I’ve said this exact thing before but it’s so freaking weird that we put breasts on so many alien creatures and anthropomorphic animals because the two prominent boobs are something totally unique to humans.
That’s like if we were chicken people and gave all our fictional beings cock’s combs. Even robots and cartoon bugs and shit.
Or maybe if we were turtle people and our version of Star Trek assumed a vast majority of alien races would have turtle shells cause that’s just so normal to us and marketing executives assume nobody will buy a game or watch a movie where the characters don’t have turtle shells.
Walrus pop culture where everything has tusks.
Termite people giving all their female characters huge colossal pulsating abdomens even if they’re cats or fish or humans.
Proboscis monkey pop culture where anything designated “male” has a big dangly fat nose to make it sexier.
I read today that Hamilton’s “Uh do whatever you want, I’m super dead” line was apparently inspired by Griffin McElroy, and now I can’t…not…know that. It’s like finding a weird, impossibly shaped puzzle piece that allows my mind to connect “I am inimitable, I am an original” to “you wanna fuck an onion” with frightening ease. It has possibly changed my perspective on Hamilton more than any other reference in the show???
I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.
This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.
OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:
“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”
“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”
“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”
YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
