That “you’re the author of your own story” line is real inspiring til you realize that it goes for literally everyone, so you’re less like an author and more like one dude in an RP chatroom where everyone is trying to teleport behind eachother with katanas
“He’s not racist he just thinks it’s funny to say racist things to see people’s reactions!” Yeah that’s a racist
I was designing a menu for a pizza place. They’d misspelt “mozzarella” at several points throughout as “mossarella.” I fixed it.
Client: There are spelling errors throughout this now! Use a spell-check next time!
I fucking hate that trope in swordfighting where they just push grind the swords together as hard as they can while looking in each others eyes. Just fucking kick the other guy in his nuts! Not like he’s going to notice anyway while he’s staring intently at your beautiful eyes, and noticing your stubble, and damn, those lips look surprisingly rosy, and his golden hair…
Hey remember that episode of Spongebob where Sandy sings about being homesick for Texas and Spongebob and Patrick overhear it and are worried that she’s going to leave Bikini Bottom so they have a Texas party at the Krusty Krab with all their friends, recreating things in Sandy’s song but they fuck it up like, pecan pie is just a can of peas shoved in a pie, barbeque is barbed wire in the shape of a Q, and the ten gallon hats are just plastic water jugs on their heads, and like…. Sandy just laughs so hard she breaks into tears, cause she sees what they’re trying to do for her to make her feel at home because they love her and don’t want her to leave…………… yo do you ever think about that goddamn episode
And then she realizes she’s already at home bc she’s with them and they all love her so much? Nickelodeon didn’t have to go that hard but they did gotdamn
Not to mention how pissed she was when people were making fun of texas. i can confirm that much is very true.
The next person who tries to correct me when I say “Happy Holidays” is going to be told Happy Hanukkah instead. Very tired of hearing, “No, it’s MERRY CHRISTMAS.” I’m pretty sure Judaism was around a lot longer than your Buckstar’s boycotting butt, Karen.
My boss once shared a great story about that. This happened when he was in a layover in North Carolina back when the “War on Christmas” bullshit was first becoming prominent. He had gone to get a pack of cigarettes, and after he paid for it:
“Merry Christmas.”
“Happy holidays.”
“No. I said Merry Christmas.”
“Do you know what Hanukkah is about?”
“No, what?”
“Some people tried to make us worship their ways, so we rose up and killed them. Happy Hanukkah.”yes!! i say this as a jew but there r also tons of people that dont celebrate anything and people are like wElL wHaT aRe wE sUpPoSeD tO sAy?! ….u can just say have a nice day? have a good evening? stay warm? etc??
