shejla24:

shejla24:

when your friend megan morphine said she’s going to study with ashleeGoreLynne amnesia but you hear her buying paramore leggings with sarah seroquel and dakaylee drop dead in claires

but you don’t care cause you been fucking dakaylees boyfriend chad cinnamon massacre since high school!!

gokusmoker666:

Me: what you want me to do

Him: play with it a bit

Me:

bigdipper24:

trashysnakewithfeels:

i5ero:

awesomeships:

PUPPIESSSSS!!!!

When I don’t get what u mean

this video is my aesthetic 

This is both very cute and very funny

markourshapes:

obi-wan? i haven’t heard that name in years

anungulateaday:

Chousingha [Tetracerus quadricornis]

wheatleyandchell:

here is my contribution to the fandom

questbedhead:

I fucking love Barry Bluejeans cause, okay, imagine you’re like, the store keep at a dark magic shop or smthn, and you’re up to your regular nefarious retail shenanigans when in walks in this guy. This, this fucking chubby-fantasy-Tom-Arnold looking motherfucker. This guy who looks like you’d find him shopping for lightbulbs at the Home Depot on a Saturday morning. This guy who looks like he belongs in the footwear section of a department store, comparing the prices between nearly identical pairs of plain white socks. This guy comes into your incredibly deadly and illegal Darke Magyk Emporium flanked by a pair of incredibly hot elf twins. They come up to the counter and ask if you have any books with level 12 spells. Level 12? you ask, skeptical, but cautious. 12 or higher, says This Guy, with a shrug. The elves look bored. 

You pull down an enormous spellbook from the fancy, imposing shelf you have behind the counter. You have to climb the cool roll-y-ladder-thing to get it, and it is fucking heavy. It has tarnished silver clasps. It’s got arcane symbols and pictures drawn in beautiful, terrible detail. It is bound in fucking dwarf skin. You put the book on the counter with an ominous boom and This Fucking Guy goes oh neat!, like he’s looking at a half-off sale on Bran Flakes instead of an incredibly sick and dangerous magykal tome. 

This Guy flips through the spell book. The pages are thick yellow parchment that smell inexplicably of rotting flora. This Guys hands are soft, and look kinda sweaty. He lands on a page in the middle and excitedly points to a spell, sliding the book towards one of the Hot Elves. The Hot Elf is equally excited, and you watch in horror as the two of them coo over some of the most diabolical Necrotic incantations you have ever seen like newlyweds browsing through novelty kitchenware. The other Hot Elf has picked all the molars out of the jar of teeth you keep on the counter and is rolling them like dice. 

This Guy has decided to buy the spellbook. You ask what he’s willing to pay, in your best spooky salesperson voice. He digs through his jeans for a moment and pulls out a handful of thick, golden coins. They are engraved with pictures of strange, otherworldly creatures. The writing on them strains your eyes. You are literally having trouble comprehending what This Motherfucking Guy is trying to hand you right now. Who even is this Guy?? You try an Deception check. This Guy is not trying to trick you. You try and insight check. This Guy is completely sincere. You try True Sight. This Guy is a mother fucking lich. 

There is a Mother Fucking Lich in your shop and he looks like a middle-aged house-husband. 

This Mother Fucking Lich buys the book with his weird coins. One of the Insanely Hot Elves drapes themselves over his shoulders. None of them bother clean up the teeth all over your counter. As the three of them head out of your shop you call out to them, in horrified reverence who the fuck even ARE you??

The Lich looks over his shoulder and stares you dead in the eyes. My name is Barry Bluejeans he says, deadpan. You die, instantly. He leaves. As whatever sinister machinations you have prepared for your inevitable doom are set into motion, you realize one of the Hot Elves switched the gold coins out for candlenights gelt. Anywho that’s why I love Barold thanks for coming to my Ted Tal

glumshoe:

the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ has only been actually typed once by a single person, everyone else who has ever used it has just googled “shrug emoji” and copy-pasted it

friendraichu:

platypus426:

This one time I was at a street festival hosted by my Uni and there was a guy doing card tricks. I was watching him when I noticed he dropped a card. (7 of spades) I quickly pu my shoe in it and then bent down to act like I was tying my shoe. He then asks for a volunteer so I raise my hand. He asks me to say the name of a card at random so I say “7 of spades” he does his trick that I guess was supposed to make it come on top. He holds up the Ace of Hearts and says “is this your card?” And I hold up the card and said “no but this is” and the crowd LOST IT. I handed the card back to the magician and walked away. Later he comes up to me and asks me how I did it. I looked him in the eye, smiled and said “magicians never reveal their secrets” and walked away.

this is some god tier trickery and i love it

finnglas:

anneapocalypse:

Shipping is such a multilayered thing too.

You can ship characters for happily ever afters, sure, you can ship them for tragically-then-happily, you can ship two or three or four or more, you can ship endless combinations of personality types and relationship dynamics

but you can also ship characters under very specific circumstances, or for a certain period of their life but not for all of it, or only in a certain universe. You might say “I ship these characters” and what you mean is you think they are fascinating together and could have a story together. That story could be any kind of story. 

Sometimes it means you want them together for the rest of their lives. Sometimes it means something different than that.

I don’t know about you, but for me, “I ship it” means “There is a story in this ship and I am interested in that story.” 

for me, “I ship it” means “There is a story in this ship and I am interested in that story.”

Thank you for articulating this. Yes. Exactly.