shorthalt:

shorthalt:

Thanks dungeons and dragons for teaching me how to spell and correctly incorporate Cool Words into my vocabulary such as constitution, proficiency, dexterity, prestidigitation, initiative, and expeditious

history teacher: does anyone know what the united states constitution is?
me, who thinks im hot shit because i carry around a players handbook and eat dice for breakfast: EIGHTEEN 

imakemywings:

australiansanta:

whenever an american pronounces herb as ‘urb’ it shocks me. do you say elp as well instead of help or like air instead of hair or like umour instead of humour wtf the h is there for a reason

Because the word is French and the H is silent at least we can pronounce our stolen words correctly

mbulteau:

lightsaber:

queues are such a good feature cos otherwise it would just be me reblogging 50 things in less than a minute before pulling a Luke Skywalker™ and disappearing to a deserted island for 12 straight years without telling anyone

isn’t…

isn’t that what everyone does?

FEAST OR FAMINE
FEAST OR FAMINE
FEAST OR FAMINE

Had a power outage. Squirrel on the power lines caused a blackout for the neighborhood. But i”m back now

ridiculouscake:
“Commission for https://slimydork.tumblr.com/
”
justbadpuns:
“I am judging this pun
”

justbadpuns:

I am judging this pun

jwblogofrandomness:

megaturtle1012:

Bubbles is right, ya know?

The situation with our current President in a nutshell.

(I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

Trump: “and they took everything and if Putin finds out I’ll be sent to siberia forever and just because I begged him to rig the election and make me president he’ll think it’s my fault”
The american majority who voted clinton: “It is your fault”
Trump: “THATS NOT THE POINT”