Guys. I’m about to do a rant about D&D things. Because I’m so frustrated about dumb DMs who undermine an out of the box character.
From now on when playing Prianna, I’m giving her a frying pan as her weapon. DMs freak the hell out on me about 90% of the time if she doesn’t have a “normal regular weapon”, but I never use it because she stays in the back? Also… frying pan is going to be her focus for her magic. It’s her tool. It’s her craft. It’s how she, as a bard, performs. So of course the frying pan would be her magical focus item as well. BUT WHO THE HELL CARES IF I DO THIS?! Does anyone actually check in with their bard every single attack and be like “okay are you playing your lute right now what song are you playing?!” - no, it’s just assumed they’re using their instrument as focus. SO I WILL DO THIS BUT WITH FRYING PAN SHE’S ALREADY HOLDING.
AND FUCKING HELL ON THAT NOTE
I’m tired of having to write up this character as being a musician because some people struggle to see cooking as an artistic skill, when it 100% totally is. I’ve had DMs in the past tell me that her cooking something is a dexterity skill, or a intelligence skill, and I HAVE WITNESSED THE BEST CHEFS BE CLUMSY AS FUCK AND NOT VERY SMART BUT STILL CREATIVE ENOUGH TO MAKE IT GOOD. I will not accept this dumb “cooking is not a performance skill” anymore.
Frying pan is her focus. She has proficiency with cook’s utensils. She performs her craft by cooking amazing feasts to delight the masses. I’m making her a glamour bard and she will be the Gordon Ramsey of the tabletop universe, gathering fans and cooking for powerful NPCs. I’m 100% done with this lame attempt at trying to over-complicate a simple mechanic just because it’s not a “traditional art form” - just treat it like a musical instrument, it’s literally no different, and I already get a disadvantage because I actually NEED ingredients instead of handwaving that I have them like a lot of magic classes already do.
JUST LET ME HAVE FUN, DAMN IT. I’m not breaking the game by doing any of these things. Most of the time her cooking doesn’t even come into play anyway, it’s just a dumb little thing she uses to charisma the fuck out of things when she’s dealing with NPCs - LIKE A BARD WOULD DO ANYWAY.
I’m going to damn well keep my frying pan mechanic.
Hey, to all you Dungeon Masters out there, new and old…
IT’S NOT HARD TO RESKIN A FRYING PAN AS A MELEE WEAPON AND A BARDIC FOCUS!
Being a DM often means knowing when to bend the rules of the game to accommodate interesting and good ideas your players have, or adjusting/reskinning class features for your players so they best suit their characters.
If you get bent out of shape over a player using a cast-iron skillet (which weighs almost as much as a small mace or hammer), you lack imagination and are probably a weenie.
Be a better DM than that. Please and thank you.
If Samwise Gamgee can do it (3:18), so can your player characters.
Please come play with us.
Seriously though, if you need proof for cooking = performance, just refer to ANY cooking video.
Also, if you were to argue that some sort of skill shpuld require dexterity or some other thing because it’s not cooking but it’s using a cooking technique to complete a task– why not give the player advantage or their proficiency bonus to the roll?
There are ways to play this and, honestly, a bard that uses cooking to be inspirational or a frying pan as their focus is not even that hard to work into a game.
Frying pan melee weapon stats:
Frying pan (cast iron), versatile, 1d8+STR or 1d10+STR If wielding 2 handed.
On a critical hit, the target must make a dc 15 constitution saving throw or be stunned for one round.
I’d honestly LOVE a player to use a frying pan as a center point for their character. That sounds fun and creative. And if that’s not what DnD is about I don’t wanna play.
“If the men find out we can shapeshift, they’re going to tell the church!“
i didnt learn anything about contouring but that’s okay
I have tears in my eyes sweet Jesus I can’t… breathe oh my god
“ ‘makeup is for women who want a husband’ well contouring is for women who want to leach the life out of a lover and collect the inheritance from their ex husband who disappeared under mysterious circumstances”
This totally happens. And it ain’t pretty. Bearing down on the toilet can overstimulate your vagus nerve and cause you to faint. It’s called vasovagal syncope, and it drops your heart rate and blood pressure. Typically, blood flow would return to your brain and you’d regain consciousness. But…If you happen to also have cardiovascular or circulatory problems… it might not. That is why people sometimes die on the toilet.
man im not even in medicine but this is so incredibly wrong and misleading that even i can tell its bs. first of all, its WAY overexplaining “vasovagal syncopes” (literally just the term for when you faint. happens for a million reasons; getting a tattoo, being hungry/dehydrated, overexerting yourself, exhaustion, acute stress…) and the only time most people would DIE from fainting is if they passed out while rock climbing and fell off a cliff. the only scenario involved in shitting & blood pressure that could lead to death, as far as i know, is a heart attack in someone with a history of cardiovascular problems. so like, sure technically the exertion of shitting could kill someone with such extensive heart problems, but so could LITERALLY anything else at that point. if you can lift a box without having a myocardial infarction youre not gonna die while taking a shit.
I always thought this invisible guy on the Powerpuff Girls was just funny because he’s obviously dressed as a pimp, but it only now occurs to me that maybe it’s not an invisible dog he’s got on a leash.
when you go back to daydreaming after having been interrupted and your brain does a previously on of your fantasy
When you go back to daydreaming after being startled into the real world and your brain has to search through the ‘recently closed’ tabs to remember what you were daydreaming about
just a quick note- no trans person has ever said “did you just assume my gender.” trans people are very aware of how their gender and physical appearance differ and that visually one might assume that they are a man/woman when they are actually not. that’s kind of the whole idea of gender dysphoria.
and also you’ve beaten your “attack helicopter” joke into the fucking ground. cut that shit out.
i wanted to add one more thing to this post that other people have pointed out: i know its an awkward question, but a lot of trans people are going to be 100% fine with you asking what their gender is, or with calmly correcting you if you get it wrong. and if they’re not, then they’re way more likely to keep it to themselves than get visibly angry with someone. this idea that trans people just go apeshit when people misgender them accidentally/when first meeting them is a complete fabrication for a stupid joke and that’s why i despise it so much.
I can’t afford to get visibly angry about people misgendering me because that puts me in danger of getting harmed. once a cis person finds out my gender, one of two things will happen: they either accept me to various degrees, or they reject me and potentially escalate the situation. politeness is the only way I can decrease the risk of the latter.
the “DID YOU ASSUME MY GENDER?!” trope only serves to make trans people look ridiculous/unreasonable in the eyes of cis people, and places in their minds preconceptions about us that makes it harder, ultimately, for us to come out safely. if all they know about trans people are shitty jokes, then we as a people become those jokes to them.
yeah cis people, seeing as you’re literally the only people that make these jokes I’m gonna need you to reblog this
Jokes aren’t innocent if they contribute to people getting hurt.
I am Silver Tongue, I am an artist. I have many characters and you can check out my art in the art tag. I occasionally practice witchcraft though I don't do anything too complicated. I am girl 2 and don't know what else to put here.
