Silver Tongue

2srooky:

I’m gonna make my own dnd dice silicone molds and start making myself dice hard candies and gummies and shit so when I go to sessions I can pull out one dice bag w my actual dice and the other full of dice replicas that I bring to my mouth and CRUNCH in front of my party members

putrydraws:

putrydraws:

hokuto-ju-no-ken:

god, I had the dumbest dream the other day that they revealed Alola Gengar

and it was just a Gengar with a gun

like just

a normal realistic gun

and I thought “I’m gonna name her Gungar” and woke up feeling confused

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rubyetc:
“ rubyetc:
“constantly
”
Oh, I was trying to edit this but I must have accidentally pressed the ‘express dissociation’ button because
”

rubyetc:

rubyetc:

constantly 

Oh, I was trying to edit this but I must have accidentally pressed the ‘express dissociation’ button because 

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birdloaf:
“ do you think he ever summons garyl just to like…..hang out
(this is my submission for @adventuringfanbook!)
”

birdloaf:

do you think he ever summons garyl just to like…..hang out

(this is my submission for @adventuringfanbook!)

urocyonfox:

alexanders-archives:

pr1nceshawn:

The Best ATM Withdrawal Defense

I’m here for women with powerful dogs!

My land lady is a 90lb 88 year old woman with 5 full grown Rottweiler boys. They sit around her when she gardens and watch her like the secret service. If you show up to pay rent they all stand up and stand between you and her.

It’s intimidating to have 5 pony size boys all staring at you until she stands up realizes it’a you and walks to you.

My favorite part is she wades through them like swamp water saying in her cute old voice ‘move’ ‘move please’ and each one she nudges to move wags his whole body at her touch and stumbles out of the way like he’s been knocked over by a truck. It gives me life paying my rent.

witchyy-brew:
“Same, Dylan. Same.
”

witchyy-brew:

Same, Dylan. Same.

xekstrin:

xekstrin:

Ghost NPC: This necklace belonged to my daughter. How did you find it?
Bard: My… boss gave it to me

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DM: The ghost does not believe you, and you sense that she’s disappointed in you for lying
Bard: I’m sorry, I just…. I’m nervous because…
Bard: …. Because you’re so beautiful!

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DM: It’s a GHOST
DM: It’s a hooded figure, nothing but darkness and glowing amber eyes!

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Bard: Does it work or not
DM: [sighs]….
NPC: You can do better than an old bird like me
Bard: Well baby, I’m a den hunter
DM: You feel a wave of heat from the ghost

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cockatielcutie:

the absolute best gif the MLP fandom ever produced is this one

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orestian:

siobhanblank:

s0ybean:

traingirls-vs-trigglypuffs:

strangeauthor:

me when grown men make anything involving teenage girls:

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Me when grown women make anything involving teenage boys:

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I love how spike made this trying to be Controversial™ but ended up addressing the problem with shotacon and “cougars” and a lot of mainstream yaoi

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plot twist: trainfucker was an SJW the whole time