Silver Tongue

combeferret:

wentiqo:

writers: how are we gonna top ourselves! we got tons of exciting stuff in store!! at least eleven big bads this season!!!! whos gonna survive who won’t????!! 3 love triangles and 2 quadrangles!!!! 

me: I’ll Pay You 5$ To Let The Characters Just Simply Talk To Each Other For Once

#i will pay u just to have them deal with the emotional repercussions of what happened last season

dopeybeauty:

the disney movie nobody asked for

pearlouettes:

WHAT THE FUCK

sharkbutte:

haiku-robot:

sharkbutte:

if anyone makes fun of haiku robot i will put them in the dirt

if anyone makes fun
of haiku robot i will
put them in the dirt



^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
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ask-oncies-jizz:

ask-oncies-jizz:

mr-speedwagon:

ask-oncies-jizz:

got a really good idea for a d&d character i’ll never get to use

You can’t say that and not share your idea.

its a talking horse. you’d think this’d come with some kind of magical backstory about getting turned into one but turns out, they were just born that way. you find out their mother was a centaur, their fauther is a (horse-headed) minotaur, and they have a sister who’s a perfectly normal human

they’re a rogue/thief because nobody ever suspects a horse as the culprit

youre an orc guard in a fully garrisoned and protected fortress 2 miles into a mountain. you’re standing post and suddenly you hear a knock outside the door. you know you’re not authorized to move from your post but your curiosity overtakes you and you open the door. a horse is standing there. as your brain races to think of some explanation for the sudden and unexpected presence of this horse it leans in and whispers

“no one will ever believe you”

how many points to intimidation is this worth

sindri42:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Concept: a D&D campaign where every party member has been co-opted or replaced by some sort of hostile intelligence; e.g., the fighter has been possessed by a ghost, the wizard is being mind-controlled by her sapient magic ring, the rogue is actually a shapeshifting blob-monster who devoured the original and stole her form and memories, and so forth. Each of them is totally unaware of the others, and believes itself to be the only monster in a group of unwitting human adventurers.

  • The warlock has been infested by a demonic fungus; her ridiculous hat conceals the giant mushroom growing from the top of her head.
  • The barbarian is a lizardman who fell victim to a botched reincarnation spell and regenerated as a human.
  • The druid was actually killed weeks before the party met, and is being expertly impersonated by three dire raccoons in a trenchcoat.
  • No one knows that the bard’s deal is; she seems perfectly normal to every physical and supernatural test, but pings to detect aberration.
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minotaurclub:

me, learning things about myself: oh this is bad