Silver Tongue

arbitrary-stag:

africanman:

image

This is so pure

josephicus:

manhatingbabyeater:

loitering is basically the illegal act of existing while not spending money

isn’t capitalism fun

sulliman34:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

dotshaft:

“Oh wow I wonder which of Ash’s many cool pokemon living with Professor Oak they’ll do a cool cameo for.”

image

AHH YES ASH’S HUNDREDS OF TAUROS FROM THE SAFARI ZONE

HE HAS NOT FORGOTTEN THEM :D

he loves each and every one of them im crying

shinyrock6498:
“ did-you-kno:
“Human fingers can detect nano-size objects. This means you not only have the ability to feel a tiny bump the size of a large molecule, but if your finger was the size of Earth, you could determine the difference between...

shinyrock6498:

did-you-kno:

Human fingers can detect nano-size objects. This means you not only have the ability to feel a tiny bump the size of a large molecule, but if your finger was the size of Earth, you could determine the difference between a house and a car. Source

And yet its still almost impossible to find the end of the tape

thebleedingvicar:
“ entanglingbriars:
“ atheistjack:
“via godless.glasses
”
churches, I’m begging you, please run all your sign ideas by a thirteen-year-old
”
Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for 1,987 slutty, slutty years
”

thebleedingvicar:

entanglingbriars:

atheistjack:

via  godless.glasses

churches, I’m begging you, please run all your sign ideas by a thirteen-year-old

Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for 1,987 slutty, slutty years

roachpatrol:

vastderp:

restoringsanity:

Today, I came across someone claiming that when you make your original characters suffer in your stories, that makes you an abuser, and people shouldn’t declare original characters their ‘babies’ and then put them in harmful/dangerous situations.

We did it. We finally did it.

We’ve reached peak delusion.

Fiction = Reality.

Congratulations, Tumblr.

Omg.

remember in kindergarden there’d always be the really shrieky kid who would come and tell you that you were playing with the toys wrong and you could make them have a grand mal melt down by throwing a baby doll across the room? now you can have that experience all over again, but forever!

shorthalt:

thequicksilverfox:

shorthalt:

shorthalt:

New form of joke: telling someone to roll an ability check for something that obviously doesn’t need that type of check

“I wanna see if this dead body is anyone we recognize”
“Roll an acrobatics check”

You say joke, but I like to use it as an opportunity to genuinely fuck with players.
“I want to see if the dead body is anyone we know.”
“Roll acrobatics.”
“11?”
“The body seizes you by the wrists and lunges at your throat with its teeth, howling like a demon. You are grappled. Roll initiative.”

Or, “I want to check the chest for traps.”
“Roll performance.”
“Okay, uh. 17…?”
“You start whistling quietly while you go about tapping, poking, and examining the sides of the chest. It’s a pretty catchy tune you picked up a couple days ago from the bard.”
“Alright, neat, and the chest?”
“The chest starts humming along.”

OH MY GOSH THAT SECOND ONE IS A RLLY GOOD IDEA

tuffgreg:

rolodextra:

tuffgreg:

god, it’s so crazy we all have bones… like, just these big hard rods holding our meat up. that’s so fucking wild, i can’t believe it

one of the main reasons i don’t want to get pregnant is i can’t handle the idea of growing bones and not keeping them

this is a very reasonable concern. you go to all that trouble growing new bones and then some shitlord infant steals them out from under you. disgraceful

splendidland:
“if you can’t do the timecraft don’t do the crimecraft
”

splendidland:

if you can’t do the timecraft don’t do the crimecraft