Silver Tongue

mythomagically-delicious:

Stan took the “I’m loud, look at me!” approach to life because that’s how he distracted everybody from the problems. Distracted bullies from his brother, growing up. Distracted the suckers buying his products with charm from the shams he gave them. Distracted authorities from actually catching him at anything. Distracted people from realize they were getting robbed/conned. 

It worked. It worked for his entire life. And when it failed, it tended to fail hard. But still, it was his best go to.

And while everybody’s looking at the loud, boisterous, mischievous, deceptively charming Stan Pines, nobody sees the hurt, broken, lost man underneath. 

He even managed to distract himself from that truth, for a long time.

It was his best con.

pembrokewkorgi:

fault-tumblr:

snakegay:

snakegay:

like, geez scoob we’re in the Black Lodge!

wait what the fuck i was joking but scooby doo in the black lodge is fucking canon are you kidding me

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Mystery inc is a fuckin trip

So good

yall mind if i…

chefpyro:

chefpyro:

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WHO THE FUCK SAID YOU COULD TALK BACK TO ME?

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jackthevulture:

No offense i didnt spend my entire childhood being made fun of for my interests, fear judgement all the way through my teens and early adulthood, and learn to love what i love free of shame so I could be made to feel bad for enjoying something harmless because “the fandom ruined it/made it cringey” 

wilwheaton:
“ chiquitabanana32:
““In retrospect Sandy Hook marked the end of the US gun control debate. Once America decided killing children was bearable, it was over.” -Dan Hodges
”
Fuck the NRA.
”

wilwheaton:

chiquitabanana32:

“In retrospect Sandy Hook marked the end of the US gun control debate. Once America decided killing children was bearable, it was over.” -Dan Hodges

Fuck the NRA.

legolokiismighty:

louisamayanniecat:

silentthevoice:

Petition to change “he looked at her like she was the sun” to “he looked at her like she was the moon” and any other variation bc I look at the moon in wonder and love and amazement while I’ve only ever just squinted angrily at the sun

He looked at her like she was the sun, in that he never looked at her except in frustration. He basked in her warmth, he complained when she was gone, but he never looked. On days she was muted, he complained. On days she was stronger, he hid from her. He never looked at her until she was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset he wondered how he’d never seen her before.

dude

GUYS I FIGURED IT OUT

dretanya:

aquaheartgirl:

Okay so you know how in Beauty in the Beast…

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This lady can’t afford six eggs, which always struck me as a little odd but I figured maybe that was normal in a poor French village. I mean, look at all the little kids she has; she probably struggles to afford any kind of food that would feed all of them… Right?

But later we discover something interesting about Gaston:

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Gaston eats five dozen eggs every day. That’s 60 eggs. SIXTY. Which adds up to 420 eggs per week. No wonder this poor village doesn’t have enough of them to go around!

Gaston, who is very well-respected and successful and probably makes good money from his fabulous hunting skills, is cornering the entire egg market. To feed his addiction, he probably has to constantly go around and buy out every farmer’s supply of eggs, which causes the price on any remaining eggs to skyrocket.

Gaston is singlehandedly destroying the town’s economy.

Way to go, Gaston. You may be popular, but I’m sure that at least the chicken farmers were relieved when you fell to your death.

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therealpeaches:
“This was posted by a bot so this is the most meta thing I have ever seen. I am legit 90% certain this bot has attained sentience bc I’ve been following it for a while and it had posted quite a few coherent jokes, despite being...

therealpeaches:

This was posted by a bot so this is the most meta thing I have ever seen. I am legit 90% certain this bot has attained sentience bc I’ve been following it for a while and it had posted quite a few coherent jokes, despite being shitpostbot5k. And there’s a certain amount of non-coherent jokes that make me thing it’s not a human behind this. It’s like a reverse Turing test.