Humans are the only intelligent species in the universe to have evolved from predators. Every other sentient species has evolved from a prey species… and so they are terrified of us. Now it’s up to you to persuade the Galactic Council that we won’t hunt them down and eat them all.
“We won’t eat you,” I shrugged. “Most of us would find the idea of eating a sapient being repulsive - it would be like eating another human.”
The gathering murmured. The herbivores were big, to be honest. A lot of them were easily elephant-sized, with a few even bigger. It had been jarring, at first, being one of the smallest known species. I guess we’d always expected ‘little green men’, small aliens with big eyes, looking a lot like us.
But no, they were big. Intimidatingly so. And we’d just told them not to be afraid of us. I looked over to some of my team, a few of whom wore expressions like they’d just realised it. Some of the aliens, too, were giving us a fresh appraisal. Instead of wide and fearful eyes, they were now narrowed in thought.
One of them leant against the wall, arms crossed. There was something buffalo-like about him, with a set of horns curving out of his head, and a rather bovine nose. A little like a minotaur, really. The Tellors had a problem with water shortages, we’d heard. Another, someone reptilian with nictating membranes and a nervous, flicking tongue whispered to her cohorts, her eyes darting between us all. The Fiarans were apparently running out of arable land.
I let my mouth pull up at the corners.
Now, there’s a funny thing about most beings, sapient or otherwise. Showing off your teeth is a general sign for ‘look what I have and might very well use’. Humans have always been weird about that, so it’s been normally something all of us in the diplomatic sector have to worry about when smiling.
Normally.
I cleared my throat, and the Council turned back to me.
“We want to be friends, really,” and the tone of my voice caused my team to spin around and stare at me. “And we have high hopes for what we could achieve together in an alliance.”
I paused, making eye contact with the Tellor and Fiaran especially.
“We won’t eat you,” I said. “But we didn’t eat our predators, either.”
The crowd began to mutter again. The Tellor snorted, making his way to the front.
“I have studied humans - you are the apex predators of your planet. Please explain.”
I looked up at him. “Oh yes, we are now.”
He tilted his head, and then took a step back as the meaning hit him. Or at least the meaning I meant to give - I wasn’t exactly about to spew lion attack statistics or explain the concept of zoos to him.
“We do want to be friends.” I said.
I grinned.
This is Asimov’s entire alien lifeform repertoire what the hell
Justice League / Power Rangers continues to be Fucking amazing.
I cant believe Batman is so emo that the fucking power rangers traveled dimensions to call him out.
Ok, huge spoilers ahead:
>be me, 9/10 betafag
>am pretty good with cutting throats wont lie
>has to kill a crippled guy
>k easy job
>get burned alive, fml
>ugly boss revives me with parasites, awesome i guess
>has to kill crippled guy again
>he looks good now, hot damn
>fuck that, switching sides
>months later, on a mission
>crippled guy is infiltrating a base, gets caught several times
>i wanna provide cover fire, he goes “no!”
>WHY DID YOU BRING ME IF I CANT SHOOT STUFF GAHHHH
>god sometimes i just wanna tell him to inhale a dick, but i cant, will die if i do that
>this guy’s totally gonna be the death of me smh
I might use DD 90% of the time but i LOVE quiet.
…fuck D-horse.
alecbaldwintriggeredthekoreanwar:
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain - 2015 - Konami - Hideo Kojima
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