twixie-answers-mod:

celticpyro:

trained-chimpanzee:

coyotebuegwater:

false 

‘validate my awful life choices and poor moral compass’ 

I remember a saying that went something like “A thief is someone who believes everyone steals,” and I feel like this applies to most things in life.

The only people who say “We all cheat” are people who cheat. Don’t trust them.

Jokes on you. I never been in a relationship long enough for cheating to be an option.

Can’t cheat if you don’t have a romantic relationship with anyone

ask-united-mexican-states:

((I WOULD LOVE THAT!))

prokopetz:

wetwareproblem:

yuleagin-nova:

twinkcommunist:

yuleagin-nova:

1. This is not satire.

2. This man is Trump’s pick for Secretary of Commerce.

To be fair I am also gay and think that the blood of young people might be a component for a cure for aging.

I get where you’re coming from but just consider the pure iconography of it. 

A billionaire who already exists as a metaphorical parasite on the working class shamelessly casting off the metaphors and demanding our blood to prolong his own life.

There are so many levels of tragilarious to this.

You know, there was a time when speculating about which members of Donald Trump’s cabinet-to-be are actual, literal vampires would have been a joke.

(Now I’m just wondering which one of them is a werewolf - where there’s one, you’ll always find the other.)

favecolor:

gotchi:

gotchi:

kant:

dfgkjhdsflskalfihaodscbkxzxmzvalsdfk

He literally looks like a khajiit in oblivion

@orcbulge

abirdkeeper:

thenatsdorf:

Kestrel fights winds to see reflection in traffic cam. [full video]

This is me trying to talk to people with no interest in birds…

mcsweezy:

here’s some twins!

Paperback is the boy, and Hardcover is the gal

They’re chubby nerd librarians

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inkher0:

chop-stuff:

Kars is fabulous

@somaybeidontcare

bowtothetangerinequeen:

jaspuppy:

skinny jasper is tall.

she’s not standing on anything in this screenshot

she’s legit a full head taller than your average sized quartz

your average sized quartz is roughly garnet sized (some are a little taller, some are a little shorter)

so rose is a little bit taller than your average quartz

and even by quartz standards, jasper is a giant

#skinny is probably about eye level with jasper she is just the slim jim to her beef jerky

//SPITZ DRINK