steven-universe-official:
“

chefpyro:

Momswap expectation:
Amethyst - Lapis
Garnet - Jasper
Pearl - Peridot

Momswap reality:
Amethyst - Lapis
Garnet - …Peridot?
Pearl - Pumpkin. Deadass the fuckin sentient pumpkin with a face. The fucking pumpkin. They strapped a party hat on it for the nose. I am losing my shit

doafhat:

You’re going to have be more specific.

kawaii-no-densetsu:
“ 詰め
”
suturmon:
“She only slept for like ten minutes lol
”

suturmon:

She only slept for like ten minutes lol

k009:

d.va mains beware

official-diegobrando:
“ lunarosespeedwagon:
“ official-diegobrando:
“”
He’s not a human ya stoop
”
exactly that’s why it was the correct answer
”

official-diegobrando:

lunarosespeedwagon:

official-diegobrando:

image

He’s not a human ya stoop

exactly that’s why it was the correct answer

naamahdarling:

nonlinear-nonsubjective:

no i dont want to be a billionaire to live a lavish lifestyle i want to be a billionaire to be financially secure and have enough money to give people things and support charities and fund kickstarters and leave hundred dollar tips

My lavish dream lifestyle: 200% tips at IHOP and throwing struggling artists a couple hundred bucks to sketch my latest asshole OC. I buy my cats better food. I get new underwear twice a year, including a new bra. I have my jeans hemmed, and buy name-brand crackers. Nobody I know ever has to worry about a vet bill again. I quietly bankroll surgery and binders and electrolysis for every struggling trans person on Tumblr. The zoo near me builds a 300% larger reptile house and names it the Wigglesworth Von Snakeface Rept-o-Rama, and I hire a Great Dane ninja to shit on Trump’s Hollywood star every day and post the picture to Facebook and Twitter. Snakes manifest in nazis’ houses. They are made of red-hot chains and never stop screaming. My skin is clear. I sit on my front porch and drink tea. Someone hands me a hamburger.

ravenwithpens:
“W1P
”

carbink:

valleanenowe:

[wakes up] [clown vanishes] aaaahhh that was a nice rest. i slept like a baby all night. time to start the day [gets up] [takes a shower and brushes teeth] [gets dressed] [goes about my day taking care of business] [comes home] fwoo i’m tired. it’s time for a hard-earned night’s rest. [lies down] [falls asleep] [evil clown materializes in my room and watches me sleep all night]

no text post has ever started better than “[wakes up] [clown vanishes]” I’m hooked into the story I want to know more about this world