slimeghost:

moonlandingwasfaked:

slimeghost:

moonlandingwasfaked:

slimeghost:

i’m in my car rn and i really wanna pick my nose but there’s a cute girl in the car in front of me and i don’t wanna look like a fucking animal

do you uh normally pick your nose

my nostrils are the perfect size for my fingers. how can i not?

because that’s fucking nasty. Do you fucking wipe your ass after shitting with you bare hands?

you’re supposed to wipe your ass?

fartgallery:

deer: *walking around a cemetery*

someone: an old god…. a spirit…. someone’s reincarnation…

deer [thinking]: how do i get out of here with these fences all over the place

southbeachtacos:

taako and lup had a really intense goth phase and they always tried to one up each other in their gothness and like a century later when Lup starts an undead relationship with her necromancer bf she’s like ha bitch i win.

and then taako starts dating the grim reaper and lup is so pissed it’s the only thing she can think about when she gets out of the umbrella and he’s like pumpkin you thought

weavemama:

Employers threaten their workers with being fired if they don’t come to work despite deadly weather conditions. It’s sickening and not inspirational.

rthko:

meloromantics:

great take, ann!

when will aryann coulter die

normanbates:

white man: i’m fascinated with history espe–
me: military history
white man: actually yes a–
me: world war two
white man: uh yea–
me: nazis

scotchtapeofficial:

paper-mario-wiki:

“passport” is an okay name but it would make more sense if it was called a “port pass”

i think an even better name would be ‘pissport’. you know, like