bi-privilege:

rosyish:

Every bisexual i have ever seen / met has done the finger guns thing. Science side of tumblr explain 

the kind of bisexual stereotype i can get behind

@kilalabunnies

togepistew:

the-gneech:

jackthevulture:

polyglotplatypus:

It’s like watching a car repeatedly drive straight into a wall. It’s unexplainable, it looks like it hurts a lot, but ultimately it ends up being darkly, ironically funny.

From my personal experience being an American on tumblr is like being the person in the BACK of the car praying that the person driving will STOP ramming into the wall.

A lot of us know this shit is stupid and we’re looking out the window like “LOOK THOSE OTHER CARS ARE DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD LETS BE LIKE THEM”

But the driver is like “FUCK YOU! BUILT FORD TOUGH! USA USA USA DONT LIKE IT, GET OUT!” but the doors are locked and the car is now smoking and threatening to catch fire.

Reblogging for the followup comment! ‘cos that’s exactly what it’s like.

Literally ^

And then the person driving is knocked unconscious but then Russia comes in and wakes him up and gives him a shit ton of coke so now he’s ramming into the wall even faster

Seeing someone make a simpsons reference on my dash makes my day. You steam a good ham.
Anonymous

gearholder:

chefpyro:

greensalamander:

:

Thanks, I learned it in Albany.

Fun fact: Folks in Albany have now adopted the term to the point that it’s possible in a decade or two that joke won’t be nearly as funny.

That’s hilarious.

These people are embiggening the language and that’s just so cromulent.

the-troyler-blog:

pirate996:

phoenixxxdragon:

ellament451:

waterfallfish:

I told my homecoming date I’m just going to wear sweatpants to the dance and his reaction was ‘okay just let me know what color sweatpants so my tie can match’ 

he’s a keeper.

They’re* a keeper. Don’t assume they’re male

But the op said his

this is tumblr in a post

tacticalsquad:
“ tacticalminded When your girl says you never get her flowers.. 😂
”

tacticalsquad:

tacticalminded  When your girl says you never get her flowers.. 😂

justrudithings:

I hope this is the last thing Trump sees

rafi-dangelo:

(Facebook: It’s Okay To Be Childfree)

“Congratulations - you just made a conversation about salad and hamburgers about the struggle of childbirth.”

TBH Parentfriends, I’m probably tired of looking at pictures of your kid every other day, so I just hid you from my Newsfeed, because what’s important to you isn’t all that important to me. Sorry, not sorry, no one’s feelings got hurt.

But if you start mommyjacking my posts, I will 100% make you cry into your keyboard.

I didn’t know there was a word for it. Also, fuck the parent who wants the wheelchair for their kids Halloween costume

hanabryanne:
“bringmetwentyoneveilsatsix:
“reverseracism:
“ maxvista:
“ anomaly1:
“ bytdwd:
“ dmc-dmc:
“ thesoftghetto:
“ calendrierroi:
“ mixed-apocalyptic:
“ didntfitthenarrative:
“ elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
“ thisiswhiteculture:
“...

hanabryanne:

bringmetwentyoneveilsatsix:

reverseracism:

maxvista:

anomaly1:

bytdwd:

dmc-dmc:

thesoftghetto:

calendrierroi:

mixed-apocalyptic:

didntfitthenarrative:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

thisiswhiteculture:

magnacarterholygrail:

clarknokent:

heartbreakes:

jesscaasqueaks:

50starsand13bars:

Don’t stereotype us and then complain if we stereotype you.

actually this is the “my daddy pays for everything and ive never had a job GO Greek!” outfit. 

The “My name is Preston, and I enjoy roofie-ing girls with my best buds and wearing matching sweaters” look

The ” I’ve never been with a black girl before haha” look

The “I’m drunk on somebody else’s PBR, when are you gonna play some Imagine Dragons, brah?” look

The “My Best FRiend Is Black. I Forgot His Name and Don’t Invite Him to My Neighborhood Though” look

the “I’ve Never Taken Public Transportation in My Life and Snort Coke in the Back of an Uber” look

The “I act like a stereotypical high school movie jock but the only sport I play is golf” look

The “Don’t stereotype us and complain if we stereotype you” outift

The last one tho .^^^

the “What would you do if i was there next to you right now” outfit

The “I say nigga sometimes with my friends when nobodies around” outfit

Lmfao

The “I like instigating fights but if you hit me my daddy will sue” outfit

The “without me?” outfit

The “poor people are lazy and my parents are rich because they work hard outfit”

The “u got kik” outfit

The “nah I could never be friends with a gay person. What if they hit on me?” Outfit

The “I voted for harambe” outfit