au where gérard lacroix becomes widowmaker
Straight dudes are their own worst enemies when it comes to getting laid.
Like, i know so many girls who are down for something more casual and who actually have really low standards that boil down to “treat me like a person, not a talking fleshlight”. And dudes refuse to even meet those standards!
Like, you know how many times I’ve been talking to a guy and I’ve already decided that when we hang out I’d down to mess around, only for the guy to start talking super graphically or send me a picture of his dick–and then literally all desire I had for him went out the windows.
Like dudes are so obsessed with sex that theyre scaring almost-certain sex partners away because they refuse to act like human beings capable of rational thought.
THIS
Adult things arent NEARLY as complex as I thought they were growing up I just walked into bank of america and said im here to open a checking account and they said ok and opened me a checking account
If you have anxiety about being an adult, it may help to think of adult things as basically just doing a lot of quests.
Me: [googles “where do i get a passport”]
Me: [goes to that building]
Me: [asks first person I encounter] Where do I get a passport?
Them: Third floor, room twelve.
Me: [goes to that room]
Me: [asks first person I encounter] Where do I get a passport?
Them: That desk over there.
Me: [goes to that desk]
Me: Where do I get a passport?
Them: Fill out this form.
Me: [thinking] Silver key opens the garden gate, in the garden is the red key, which opens the red door, there’s a boy in the red house who tells you his dog is trapped in the old abandoned barn and can I please rescue him…being an adult is a serious of fetch quests and waiting in lines
also you roll bluff a lot
i mean a LOT
and a lot of figuring out where and how to best farm gold
LOVE the point about herbivorous animals occasionally supplementing their diet with protein sources. Just because an animal supplements its diet with something does not mean it can survive or thrive on a diet of just that thing.
Butterflies supplement their diets with mud, that doesn’t mean they can live off of mud. Chickens supplement their diet with insects and small vertebrates, that doesn’t mean they would thrive or be healthy on an all-meat diet.
Dogs adapted to better supplement their diet with carb-rich scraps from humans, that does not mean they can live healthy lives without meat composing a significant portion of their diet.
Human-ancestors, on the other hand, evolved from largely herbivorous apes and only became true omnivores relatively recently in our evolutionary history. We started supplementing our diet with more meat and eventually evolved to digest it better, but we still have most of the biological equipment to get all the nutrients we need from plant-based sources like our far-off ancestors used to. That’s why humans can thrive on a vegan diet.
Dogs and cats did not have ancestors that derived most of their nutrition from non-meat sources so they don’t have the biological equipment to thrive on that diet. Even if dogs WERE omnivores they would still have evolved from mostly meat-eating ancestors and so would not have the biological tools to live off a diet without any meat. Evolutionary history matters.
It’s so gross and hypocritical to frame food waste as a personal failing. Like, people are dying of hunger because someone forgot some leftovers at the back of their fridge and ended up throwing them away. Major chain grocery stores throw away millions of pounds of food because it’s “too much work” to donate it, and then poison it and destroy it when they throw it away to punish dumpster diving.
Waste is not a personal failing. It’s engineered by corporations, and they profit off of obscuring that.
Much like water waste - shaming a dripping bathroom faucet for wasting water, while hundreds of gallons get wasted in industrial settings.
Always be suspicious of micro-focused framing of environmental issues, when there’s the possibility of macro-level issues hiding behind them.
(Sorry if this is only tangentially biology, but I minored in sustainability and reducing food waste is a great way to be a friend to the environment, farm animals, and wildlife.)
Once when I was working at a Salesforce conference in SF, just answering questions for people, one of the vendors came up at the end of the day and said “Do you know if there’s a food bank around here? I want to donate these. Except, I don’t want a homeless person to choke on these and sue me.” What she was holding was a small bowl of promotional breathmints. I think that conversation was very emblematic of how people don’t understand how food waste works. Here’s a breakdown:
1. No one wants your half-eaten sandwich, your crumbs, or your food-like substance. Mints aren’t even food. Try to avoid that kind of food waste, and if you can’t help it, accept that a certain amount of personal waste of all items is a reality. You should see what happens to your clothes. (Rarely does anyone want that, either.)
2. Even if it was good food, it is very difficult to organize food donation. When I worked at Google we threw away about 40 fully-prepared meals a day, just from my 3-person project (idk what they do with the cafeteria food.) Everyone who walked in to the studio said “you should donate that to a homeless person.” Well there weren’t any homeless people hanging out at the Google Maps building, so are you volunteering to drive food around until you find one? I bet just about everyone is shocked the first time they work with food that TONS of it gets thrown away. I contacted Food Recovery Network to try to organize a daily pickup, but it never happened before the project went on the road–which I anticipated. You just cannot poof extra food into a needy person’s hands!3. I’ve heard this “a homeless person will choke and sue me” too many times. Store owners waive it off and say “legal issues,” meaning “phew, I don’t have to actually explain why we throw this food away.” But someone choking on food or faking sick in order to sue the donor HAS NEVER HAPPENED. It WOULD NEVER happen. The Bill Emerson Good Samaritan Food Donation Act protects all donors who give food in good faith from liability. Even before that, it would be absurd to sue someone because you choked on a free sandwich, unless you they were actually trying to hurt you by filling it full of legos or something. You know you can choke on sandwiches that you paid for too, right?
4. I also want to point out–you don’t have to be homeless to use a food bank. If you are hungry, having some trouble this month, or worried about making rent, in some states and counties food banks can’t turn you away or even legally ask you qualifying questions. You don’t have to wait until you are in dire straights before utilizing these services. They hope to prevent you from getting in too deep. Sometimes they have TONS of a certain item, like maybe potatoes if you’re in Idaho, and bread and bagels everywhere in my experience, that they’re more than happy to get rid of. Also, don’t think of people who use food banks as failures, and don’t think of it as a defeat if that’s you. Some people get help from rich partners and parents, some get it from good jobs, some get it from food banks. Everyone gets help in their life and everyone deserves to eat.
So what can you do to prevent food waste? There are different organizations, depending on where you live and what you do. You can print out Bill Emerson and tell your boss at the grocery store that you can donate food, and these Good Samaritan laws were passed in 1996 so people should know that by now. But people at the grocery store want minimal work, so see if you can organize the food van to pick up the extras on a schedule. You can support legislation and NGO’s that are working on streamlining food waste reduction. Look for Meetup.com dumpster diving groups, freegans, and food donation apps.
You can find your local food-redistribution charity, and they are more likely to know how to utilize your time. Since I lived in the SF East Bay, I know there is the White Pony Express which drives around collecting food from restaurants and grocery stores and donating it. There are organizations like Food Forward and the Food Recovery Network on the West Coast. Food Not Bombs is fairly common across the US and the world, so see if there’s one of those nearby you.And lastly, if you have an extra pizza, just give it to your roommates or co-workers. You can ask them to donate the $5 they would have spent to a charity, because the charity is much happier with money than the pizza. Or just use that $5 to pay off your loans quicker.
some very important yokai from japanese folklore
- a tiny old man who lies in a field doing a perfect imitation of a baby’s cry to attract concerned passers-by, before killing those who attempt to pick him up by rapidly increasing in weight until their bones shatter
- an outhouse goblin with a long tongue who just scuttles around licking up that sweet sweet soap scum and other bathroom filth
- what appears to be a man with an obscured face - when it spots someone at night, it drops trou, spreads its asscheeks to reveal a giant eyeball poking out of its anus, and then charges at its victim on all fours ass-first (seemingly for no reason other than to scare them)
- a seemingly ordinary woman whose head detaches while she sleeps and flies around the garden looking for centipedes to eat
- large angry goblins in straw coats that rampage through mountain villages yelling at kids to be good and not stopping until the parents appease them with booze
- a giant who just squats over the japanese islands and washes his hands in the ocean (that’s literally all he does)
- shapeshifting raccoons who use their enormous stretchy ballsacks to accomplish all manner of everyday tasks
- goblins that live in the woods washing beans in the rivers, freaking out travelers by singing songs about washing beans that echo through the woods
- a giant skeleton made of tons of normal skeletons combined like some sort of skeleton voltron
- slimy balls of hair that just skitter around being nasty
- a spirit that does nothing except sneak up on sleeping people, pull the pillows out from under their heads, and slides the pillows under their feet
- vaguely humanoid blobs of obese, stinky flesh with no eyes or mouths that are harmless and by all accounts quite friendly - if you eat the flesh of one, you gain immortality at the cost of living your life as one of them
- a little old man with a very long head who sneaks into empty houses and insists that he owns them even when the homeowners return (one of the most powerful yokai)
Most of these seem harmless or just assholes
My favourite detail about the aforementioned Voltron skeleton is that, in some folk-tales, it’s said to hunt by sneaking up on people and ambushing them.
How does a thirty-foot-tall skeleton sneak up on a person, you ask?
Simple: by exploiting the fact that nobody ever looks up.
(I’m not kidding - that’s literally the folkloric explanation for how they sneak up on you.)
