vivicosas:

One of the gems that are the Dirk Caliborn dialog combos in homestuck

lategreathenry:

Casting Jason Mamoa as Aquaman has been nothing short absolutely genius.

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

“I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?”

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

superllama42:

When sci-fi writers obviously have no idea how science works.

asktheancestors-deactivated2018:

zero0000:

dreadpiratemary:

septimusprime:

thesanityclause:

twelvemonkeyswere:

prongsmydeer:

The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.” 

“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”

“A different hipprogriff.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”

“Prove it.” 

no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies

Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book

Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.

Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.

“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!”
“Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.”
“Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!”
“He can’t he needs them to see.”

i mean, it worked for harry when voldemort was hunting him. i vaguely remember ron claiming harry was his cousin, not harry when deatheaters showed up

becausewritingandstuff:

boomerbuzzard:

boomerbuzzard:

notchicken:

I hate the internet. I hate how this poem doesn’t need to be finished but it has 13.9k retweets and 21.1k likes. Everyone knows how this poem ends and I hate it

Violets are Blue

Michael Jackson sang Thriller

@starseedjenny

Roses have thorns

A shark has a fin

Roses are red
Trucks have a hitch

roses are red

miles are long

tuffgreg:

the boys’ reactions when told to make a joke about millennials

justin: adds a funny specific to a pretty standard stereotype to create a bizarre & delightful mental image of ferrets running wild on an airplane

griffin: just… just, righteous fury. this is his crusade and he cannot believe that it has found him again, on television of all places. he will never know peace until the very concept of thinkpieces has been erased from living memory

travis: uh, they like scarves, that’s cool

paranormalthread:

ryan-the-mad-king-haywood:

fingerbacksnap:

i hate the word fandom so much shut the fuck stop turning things into fandom. i saw a post today about “the bedroom fandom” no it’s fucking interior design. sometimes people are interested in interior design. it is not a fandom. shut the fuck up i hate this website. 

Things are heating up in the anti-fandom fandom