pornstarwars:

my mum was telling me that when i was little there was a grasshopper on the car but i didn’t know what grasshoppers were called so i pointed at it and said “look at that handsome man”

tentahugs:
“holy shit??
”

tentahugs:

holy shit??

saddest short story

jewsinventedcomics:

for sale: thing feet, never worn

image
reblog if you hope liam has a good time and he feels better soon and you want him to know you love him and will miss him

jjoestarr:

like to let matt know that he deserves his break and that we’ll all be waiting for him to come back no matter how long it takes

cptmaximum:
“ rtrixie:
“Why is everyone trying to copy Steve Jobs these days, this is getting ridiculous
”
this looks like the e3 of hamburgers
”

cptmaximum:

rtrixie:

Why is everyone trying to copy Steve Jobs these days, this is getting ridiculous

this looks like the e3 of hamburgers

butterscotchbird:
“she’s a speedy noodle
”

butterscotchbird:

she’s a speedy noodle

lightshadowverisimilitude:
“ copperbadge:
“ acebycircle:
“ He just sits his ass down on all those buttons that could or could not be firing lasers into space
”
If we can’t invent a touchscreen that recognizes an ass-dial by the 24th century, we...

lightshadowverisimilitude:

copperbadge:

acebycircle:

He just sits his ass down on all those buttons that could or could not be firing lasers into space

If we can’t invent a touchscreen that recognizes an ass-dial by the 24th century, we really have no business being in space at all.

image

naamahdarling:

gothicprep:

botesregias:

kinkshamer69:

not to sound too millennial here but it annoys me so much when I’m at a restaurant and someone I’m with will complain about the service being slow like buddy pal it’s fine it’s not that important

You didn’t waited 40 minutes for a dinner before haven’t you?

i have but i also have, like, real problems

I waited well over an hour for food once at IHOP, because it kept coming out inedible.

We finally asked what was going on, and it turns out that the ONLY cook had been working for 36 hours straight with only a short nap.

I ordered the easiest thing to make, tipped the waitress heavily, and sent her back to the cook with a $10 tip for them, too, AFTER watching the 24-hour restaurant close the doors so that they could send the cook home for some rest.

Yeah, I’ve waited 40 minutes for my dinner, and I didn’t ask for a discount, we tipped VERY well, and sent the cook our best wishes.

If something goes wrong with your restaurant experience, consider that there are real people back there, working under god knows what conditions.

nevaehtyler:
“The history of America in one tweet
”

nevaehtyler:

The history of America in one tweet