clientsfromhell:

A nice looking couple brought their computer in for repair.

Client: It just stopped working.

They added offhandedly that they been smelling a “plastic” smell, and had also recently replaced a missing slot cover.

I nodded, outlined my usual fees and told them to expect a call when I’m done.

I cracked it open, but nothing could have prepared me for what I’d uncovered. Dildos. Dildos everywhere. Melted dildos everywhere.
They seemed a little surprised when I called them back in, and looked downright mortified when I showed them the cause of their computer trouble.

It turns out that their toddler found mommy and daddy’s fun-time stash and jammed the computer full of dildos, which had melted from the heat. It looked like a Jell-o factory had exploded in there.

Even worse, they turned to me, and asked:

Client: But you can still fix it, right?

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