sextspert:

Scenario 1: she picks the gun. She points it at the killer, pulls the trigger, discovers the gun is empty. Killer probably laughs for a couple seconds and stabs her in the chest and she’s fucking dead.

Scenario 2: she picks any of the knives. The killer is probably more skilled in fighting than she is, so he comes closer and slits her throat and she’s fucking dead

Scenario 3: she picks the grenade. A fucking grenade. Pulls out the pin, the damn thing explodes and now they’re both fucking dead.

Scenario 4: she picks the banana. Now let me tell you why the banana is the best choice of all. She can eat it for extra energy so she can run away from the psycho holding a knife standing in the middle of her kitchen. It’s not all lost because she’s still got the peel: she can pull a mario cart and throw that shit right on the floor. The killer steps on the peel, slips and hits his head on the counter. Now she’s all pumped up on adrenaline and sugar from the banana so she can do some squats or whatever

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