Romeo I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing

Juliet I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself

--

Romeo We should kiss right now at this party

Juliet No that is a super dumb idea

Romeo *kisses her anyway*

Juliet That was dumb of you

--

Romeo We should get married right now

Juliet We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?

Romeo Like tomorrow?

Juliet Sure, fine.

--

Juliet We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.

Romeo Right.

Romeo It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.

--

Juliet Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.

Romeo *immediately kills himself*

Juliet For fucks sake.